#I love them fr though. women smiling is the only thing in the world that matters. also they’re all mean-funny which is my favorite kind.
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made a little paper snowflake and the day shift girlies loved it. feeling capable of seducing an older woman
#this is a JOKE#I love them fr though. women smiling is the only thing in the world that matters. also they’re all mean-funny which is my favorite kind.#I ran away after instead of being normal bc I have a little bit of a crush on one of them (more than usual) but I’m glad it was such a hit
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Your FS’ Most Complimented Trait | PAC
pile one pile two pile three
how to choose a pile . . . choose whichever you feel drawn to or ask your guides to guide your eyes to the one that is meant for you! ᡣ𐭩
pile one : - dongmin
𐙚 : the moon, the high priestess, the emperor, the fool, the magician, the lovers
⭑ their most complimented trait
Their aura is what gets complimented most often! Even if people don’t necessarily have the words for it, they know there is something really unique about your person that simply just makes heads turn. (sort of ironic that Dongmin is the picture for this pile.) Although, younger people might actually compliment their aura.. of course, most of this is in a playful manner and yet there still is something so admirable about your future spouse my dear pile one.
They could potentially have the sort of beauty where you can’t help but admire them with ever loving eyes, getting lost in the moment because even if for a moment the world disappears and you don’t even consider snapping out of it, you just get stuck in admiring them with the shrieking pain of desperation in your chest that screams at you, begging you to caress their face because you don’t want this moment to pass, but you know it will, and eventually the realisation that they are a human and not a work of art hits you.. so you have no choice but to stay still and process your emotions without looking crazy in their eyes.
You know, that sort of drop dead gorgeous beauty.
They have a beautiful smile and a pretty laugh/giggle. I won’t lie to you, they are the sort of person who makes people question their sexuality. Not necessarily by flirting, but by just existing.
Also probably make some people annoyed, because even if they aren’t someone’s type people just absolutely cannot help but be attracted to them, to be charmed. They don’t even gotta try for it! For some of you, you could also react like this when you see them and be around them in general lol.
Though that’s for a very specific subgroup of people reading this pile! Specifically for feminine presenting, short, usually shy and thiccer people who are into men!
The guides present for this reading that I work with showed me a tall, tan, blond dude with green eyes shirtless in summer wear just looking cool. Then the reader being shy as they watch them on their phone and blushing like crazy lol That’s for a very specific someone though, so only take what resonates! (actually some of you reading, or your future spouse, could be non-binary! you go monarch fr)
⭑ how it makes them feel
Unfortunately this makes them very uncomfortable! :(
It depends on who it’s coming from, of course! The uncomfortable feeling usually comes from when they are being complimented by older women and men. By this, I mean people over 35, for some of you 40.
They feel sort of disgusted because they know their thoughts, feelings and intentions. Unfortunately, there is a lot of people who want to use them but your future spouse thankfully sees through their actions and words! They usually tend to be more careful around people like that, not trusting them straight of the bat if at all. (I don’t blame them! I connected to the older people’s energy and most of them are so gross���)
For the most part they are very annoyed. Your person is someone who works incredibly hard when it comes to their work field and for what they have. They are not the sort of person who take things for granted. The goal here is to achieve great things in life, each and every day they work hard to build up a life they can be proud of. To live comfortably, to spoil their future family and their loved ones. (Their mom especially!) Getting compliments on their work is how they know they are doing great and are on the right path in life.. that they can truly fulfill their goals. Yet, they don’t hear any of that. They work hard, and get complimented for their looks. It’s annoying.
They could often look at the compliments as fake, as if it comes from two faced people. Believing them is just something hard to do, at least in their eyes. In their belief most of them compliment your future spouse just to kiss up to them, because they have something to gain. So they could be pretty influential people my pile one. Although, I think it’s important to mention that they tend to be a bit insecure, so they might think these things even at times where people are being genuine towards them!
⭑ what they wish to be more complimented on
The love that they have in their heart! For some of you, this could be related to spirituality as your person is religious. I do think this is mostly relevant if you are Christian, Muslim or have another Abrahamic religion in your heart. Although, for most people this is for romantic love. ᡣ𐭩
In their eyes they love deeply, in a beautiful and honest manner. They are a lover boy. There is a huge wish to be appreciated for the person that they are. They try their best. Every second of the day, even when they fail.
Your future spouse’s heart is very fragile, they are a sensitive soul. So when you get to be with them, please treat them gently. They are kind, forgiving, understanding, polite, funny and someone who wants good for all. They know this too, and so do the people around them. Which can break their heart, because there could be times where their head is filled with confusion about what they could have possibly done wrong. (Nothing btw. Literally didn’t do anything wrong.)
I also do see that in the past romantic partners have unfortunately mistreated them, so they wish to be appreciated in a romantic manner. To be held and told they are doing a good job. That they can never be seen as only a second option, and that they are someone very competent. Honestly your future spouse just wants to be told they are doing a good job in life. That’s their wish for a compliment.
possible ages : 14, 17, 19, 24, 26, 30, 32 [don’t be alarmed, we just have a very mixed crowd of readers in this pile is all.]
— ✮⋆˙ : brazil , tank top , duck , ‘tikkitakka’ , red clothes , bone cracking , count down (1 2 3 4 5) , ‘love of my life’ , leo , mickey mouse , 2020/21 audios , model
my pile one ;; your future spouse is such a sweetheart, ir deeply saddens me that they have to go through something like this! being treated as nothing but a pretty doll when you have strong feelings and a sense of accomplishment can be soul crushing.. but don’t worry, they will get through this!! someone in this pile also has a future spouse who is 19 and a model, their sensitivity came through a lot. (not a bad thing btw) so, I thought that’s really cool and felt like mentioning! either way, if you liked this pac please go ahead and take a look at my paid readings if you wish to!thank you for reading! 🫶🏻
pile two : - drinks !
𐙚 : the emperor, the wheel of fortune, the hermit, the lovers, the world, the moon
⭑ their most complimented trait
The thing they get most complimented on is… their success! Pile two, I do think your future spouse is very successful in life and have achieved many great things that they are proud of. Of course, this can be related to money but it’s not necessarily the case you know? It’s just that they can overcome anything that life throws at them and come back twice, thrice or even more successful.
This is admirable to many people because the way they do it is just almost humanly impossible. Their persistence and power of will is incredibly strong, it’s like nothing can bring them down at all.
It’s like they if you broke their arms and legs so they cannot fight you, they would still bite and not let go of you. If you steal all their money they will use all their resources to earn more and form a community that will make sure that you never do it again.. they go far, but never too far. They always know what to do and how to win, and they do.
Honestly this might annoy people sometimes out of jealousy, but they still cannot help but admire your person. ‘Cuz they are just cool like that, you know?
Those things of course, have not happened but were just examples! Regardless they always know how to thrive, how to live and make life around them fun. They even make living for the people around them easier, so they could possibly spoil their family members and help out their parents with bills and such. (Someone’s guides are calling me to mention this person is someone of colour!)
They work hard while making it look easy!
⭑ how it makes them feel
Unfortunately, your future spouse becomes anxious when people compliment them too much. They don’t mind a few times, they might even agree and feel good to be seen. To be viewed as someone who can get things effortlessly, easily and thrive.. They like to be viewed like that as they don’t like to be viewed as weak and someone who can’t do anything. They want to feel useful.
Their fears could possibly set in when they can feel people’s jealousy.. They might have bit of trust issues, paranoia or trauma for past bad experiences. (different for everyone 🫶🏻) This could make them very cautious as they think people could be planning on taking the things they worked hard for away from them.. Losing everything is one of their biggest fears.
Another one is.. not living up to people’s expectations. They could possibly be scared of people expecting too much from them. That if they were to see the real side of them, the real them, people would be left disappointed. They don’t want to feel like a fraud, let alone be one. So this anxiety is with them pretty much most of the time. It has settled in a place deep inside their heart.
It’s not impossible to get rid of this feeling of course, but they might need a bit of time to heal from it. Possibly professional help. I truly do hope they will be able to receive the help that they need! 🫶🏻
You will play a huge part in their healing journey also, just make sure to not give up your health for the sake of theirs!
⭑what they wish to be more complimented on
There is not much to say here truly, because their wishes are really very simple. Their wish is for the current compliments to continue… from a genuine place. For them to be true.
They want to keep being successful, and be acknowledged for it. Although, they do want to be acknowledged about their emotions too.
They are scared, nervous and quite frankly they have a hard time opening up about this even to their close loved ones. Unfortunately, shame seems to sit in their heart with loneliness as it’s company and it’s the cause of their misery.
They want to be comforted, praised about how good of a job they are doing at controlling their anxiety and keeping their feelings in check. It is something that they are proud of, but possibly need validation about.
They don’t get it because they don’t tell anyone about how they feel, and if they do try to they just can’t seem to open up completely. They know this too, and don’t blame anyone for it. They just crave emotional intimacy and for someone to be a peaceful company for them, a person that can naturally calm them down. Their daydreams often revolve about being nurtured by someone trustworthy.
possible ages : mid 20s & mid 30s ! 🫶🏻
— ✮⋆˙ : ‘please turn of the lights’ , akmu , bolo , playlists , wiping someone’s tears , father-son issues [‘you have to be manly!’ , ‘a real man doesn’t… ‘ and so on], frozen yogurt
my beautiful pile two, I truly hope your future significant other can heal in their own pace as they don’t seem like a bad person, truly. and the very same goes for you, as you could potentially relate at some parts to their feelings.. you are doing good, i am proud of you. you are cool too! i am sorry I couldn’t channel much, they just happen to be a private person. 🫶🏻 regardless, if you enjoyed this and would like to, please feel free to check out my paid readings. thank you for reading!
pile three : - hyunwook !
𐙚 : the empress, the fool, the devil, the hermit, the lovers, temperance
⭑ their most complimented trait
There are two bigger subgroups in this pile, so that’s how I am gonna treat your reading. Please look at which group you resonate with and read for that my beautiful pile three 🫶🏻
Group one is for people with a future spouse who already have kids, group two is for people with a future spouse who is younger! Late teens to early twenties.
group one
So.. I do think some of you already know this, but your future spouse is already a parent. This could be to one or multiple children, although I think young kiddos, not grown up ones.
They constantly get complimented on how good of a parent they are and how much of a good job they are doing. Their hard work constantly shows through the efforts they constantly make and put out in the world so their family can live happily.
Even if they don’t have a lot, they would rather give everything they have to their kids so they don’t gotta suffer and just put up with their situation in quite. For some of you this is about food.. they would rather starve than to have their kids not eat.
Fortunately, for most people in the pile it never gotten that far and the compliments are much more leaning towards how they give everything they can to their kids! To pamper them. so they can live a happy life! 🫶🏻
group two
My beautiful, in your case your future spouse gets complimented a lot on being a good son/daughter to their parents.
The energy here seems really cute because your future spouse is really humble, they get shy easily and just quietly take the compliments or say thank you in order to be polite.
I do see that the compliments are very well deserved though, as they help out whenever they can, especially their mother.
[for those into girls this is just a cultural thing, as you will marry a poc person. that’s a really small amount tho, most of the people reading this pile will be with a man.]
Either way they could help out with things like washing clothes, moving things around, building things just so the burden is less on their mother. This comes from a place of appreciation towards their mother, and for the most part a lot of love too. They are aware their parent(s) already has it hard, so they try to help out wherever they can.
⭑ how it makes them feel
Both groups are about guilt, but very different kinds, so do please choose whichever one you resonated with the most in the previous point 🫶🏻
group one
If you resonated with group one it is very much likely that your future spouse is currently married. Their guilt revolves around not actually loving their spouse, but everyone praising them for being a good parent. In their eyes, a good parent is loving towards their spouse in order to set a good example.
At first I actually wrote father, so this could be a man who grew up in either a household where the mother was respected.. or one where she wasn’t and he hated it. That honestly depends person to person, but the whole point is they love their mom and want to honour her by showing that they were raised right.
Either way, they want to be a father their children they look up to.. they do. [I know that sentence doesn’t make sense, but someone’s guides want me to form it that way so I am keeping it.] They just can’t do it, because they just don’t love their spouse at all. It’s not that they want their kids to hate their parent(s), but they cannot bring themselves to keep doing this for long.. which makes sense, they will meet you after all.
They could also at times when they feel stressed could potentially be more cold towards their kids than intended or just not live up to the mental image they had of themselves in their head. It’s those ‘I love you but I don’t like the way you are acting right now’ moments. Honestly they really just seem to be a new parent, not really used to kids crying or being overwhelming… so they could at times act in ways they aren’t proud of and will forever be ashamed of. Doesn’t seem like a bad person tho, just lots of big emotions.
group two
If you get uncomfortable by sexual things easily, please do prepare mentally or skip this because I am going to be picking up on their guilt in regards to sexual experiences.
So, I do think they have an immense amount of guilt because they do not think they are a good son/daughter/kid. People have this certain image of them, that they are good, angelic or even perfect.. when that’s far from the truth. In their eyes at least.
They do think like this because they feel an intense sense of shame. Your person for sure has a porn addiction, although it’s not severe, it doesn’t stain their mind or influence the way they behave with people at all. It’s just that if they feel the urge, they need to get rid of it. Thus, the guilt, they get called a good kid and they immediately remember their acts and feel sorry. They feel like they are unintentionally putting on a facade. Which is not true in the least, they are a good person. Unfortunately, they just don’t have a good relationship with sexual things.
They feel ashamed about certain kinks they have, even if it’s truly not inappropriate or uncommon. The things they watch, think and sometimes even that they are attracted to multiple people.. even if they are single. They are an insanely loyal person though, do not get them wrong.. it’s just that they get little crushes. Which we all do! But your person truly feels guilty and wishes they could just keep with one crush.. it makes them feel like a scum, if you will.
Truth to be told, they just want to be loved, they need a support net, a lifeline that will make things okay.
Most of these issues stem from trauma, and while I can pick up on several I will not be saying them since it would be disrespectful to tell their vulnerable moments to everyone on the internet 🙂↕️ So, sorry! I cannot tell you the hardships they went through. Since they are your future spouse, they will tell you themselves eventually.
⭑ what they wish to be more complimented on
Nothing! This is the shortest explanation out of all the piles in this topic.. because there is truly nothing they wish to be complimented on.
They just want to improve themselves, live a good life and be the person that they strive to be. There is this ideal version of themselves that they wish to achieve, as long as they can do that they don’t really care what people say. Good or bad, they don’t give much importance to people’s compliments because at the end of the day it doesn’t really matter and can change in the blink of an eye if the person just oh so ever slightly changes.
They just wanna be well disciplined, well mannered, hard working, well kept and in shape. They have high expectations of themselves and they wanna reach it. So that’s what they focus on, not what potential compliments they could get if they improve if that makes sense?
Compliments don’t matter much to them, it’s just that they have a breaking limit / point when they can’t handle hearing them anymore. A few times it’s fine, but eventually they will get annoyed by them. Especially if it’s repetitive. It’s like an ick, or they can tell when someones fake. To them it’s one of those little annoying moments in life that you sorta have to politely go through in order to avoid trouble or more bothersome things to deal with. Kinda like washing dishes! (Lol, what?)
possible ages : late teens (17-19), early twenties (20-24), mid thirties!
— ✮⋆˙ : taylor swift playlists , jerseys , papaya (fruit!), cannibal by kesha , hentai / yaoi / yuri , painted nails (red / hot pink) , lovebird , 00s / 10s movies
my dearest pile three, your future spouse is going through it 😞 thankfully they will be able to heal from all of this! I don’t blame them for the guilt that they feel, but please don’t be too harsh with your words when it comes to them! It’s something that will stick even if they like to pretend that they don’t care, ya know?… I am sorry that I couldn’t dive as deep into their guilt as possible but privacy exists for a reason! Didn’t wanna be disrespectful.. Either way, if you enjoyed the reading and perhaps feel like it feel free to check out my paid readings! thank you for reading!
#spirituality#tarot#tarot reading#free tarot reading#pick a card#pick a pile#pick a picture#tarotblr#tarot community#tarot blog#tarot cards#free tarot#daily tarot#astroblr#please reblog 💔#not proof read! sorry </3#111#888
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this will be long so....
as always let me know your thoughts otherwise i will find you and hold you at gunpoint,
you dont need to hold me at gun point (idm if you do) to tell how much i love your works. ♡
“Right, sorry.” You cleared your throat and sat up straighter. “I completely disagree with your statement, Jongseong. Just because a movie has young teenage girls as its target audience doesn’t mean it is completely insipid and has no value, like you’re insinuating. If you look at Mean Girls, for example-”
ah LOVE IT WHEN MY WOMEN ARE SO SEXY WITH THEIR WORDS LOVE IT. funny i have done this exactly, cuz i do be writing mails for my friends lol. Fun fact never watched mean girls in my life #not like other girls fr 🤭
“Oh, and Jay, I do have to side with Y/N here. There’s a surprising amount of things that can be said about that film,” your tutor admitted with an apologetic smile.
Yn 1 - jay 0
“Yes, Jongseong, that’s exactly the case. I’m sooooo obsessed with you, I took this class just to see you.”
spoiler if im not wrong she actually did ask jake bout it, and took the class in the old (ill see later on in the fic) or was it another fic.
“You see, Y/N, I also major in Visual Studies. I’m not a single honors Econ major like you. Loser.”
STOP I JUST DECIDED ON WHAT TO STUDY DONT MAKE ME CHANGE TO BUS🤢🤮BUSIN🤮🤢BUSINESS STUDENT (/j i love the capitalism kids they do know how to keep the country running i hope, lowkey wanna do econ tho...) GOIN OFF TOPIC
“H-hi, Heeseung.”
No. Fuck off. no I DISLIKED THIS MAN SM IN THIS FIC
"It’s not even just about that, Y/N. You know his reputation, he’s clearly bad news. There’s no point in liking a guy like that.”
See even jay agrees. yall might be enemies (lovers) but take his words on this pls
“Whatever. When he inevitably hurts you, though, I’ll say I told you so.”
aren't you the one that hurts her before him 👎👎👎 or was that SCENE AFTERWARDS HMMMM (future me exactly fuck you jay how could you hurt my girl like that.)
If anybody remembers this, they’re probably thinking that you were fucking awesome. Can’t you see how everyone is cheering you on in the video?”
we love a supportive friend ! pls this is so me 😭😭😭
“you literally asked Jake to tell you what courses he was taking this semester and when his tutorials were, and when you somehow managed to be enrolled in a class that’s supposed to be reserved for Visual Studies students, you emailed the tutor to make sure you’d be in the same group as Jay. I’d say that requires some effort.”
SEE I TOLD YOU. I KNEW SHE DID THIS, HAHAHAHA GIVING MIXED SIGNS BABE FRR
“Is no one gonna say it?” Sunoo asked, bewildered, looking around at your friends. “It sounds like you like him, Y/N.”
SO TRUE ITS SO ?!?!??! OBVIOUS YN GET YOUR MIND INTO IT good that you didnt put that much effort into heeseung that ass
Sieun took your hands in hers and tried to convince you with her eyes, her eyebrows furrowing slightly. “But think about it, Y/N. It’s the enemies to lovers trope!”
Agreed EXACTLY BEAUTIFUL GORGEOUS NEVER DONE BEFORE BEST TROPE.
“I’d come, but the idea of serving rich people as they give out ten thousand dollars when they could give a million and it wouldn’t even affect them in the slightest, not to mention having to do it with a smile on my face, makes my skin crawl, so no thanks,” Sieun said. She wasn’t wrong, but this was also Jay’s parents you were talking about. Not only would Jay be there, and your presence would surely piss him off, but his dad’s company was one of the top of the country and being introduced to their world, maybe even getting to know some people there, even just as a waitress, could really benefit you in the long-term. You’d never admit it to him, but you’d been dreaming of working there ever since you’d first heard of it. Nothing might come out of this, but it was worth trying.
Sounding like you love jay more than heeseung babe. I dont blame you me too <3
The two boys in front of him groaned in unison. He raised his head and added defensively, “What? I’ve barely said anything yet.”
FELT mE TOO THEU BOTH ARE SO OBSESSED WITH 3ACH OYHER PLS
Jay rolled his eyes. “No, of course not, but I’m gonna be hyper-aware of her presence and I don’t want it to distract me.” A third groan. “Plus, I don’t like the idea of her being there as a waitress. She should be with the students who talk to the guests, she deserves it more than anybody I know.”
CUTE FUCKING CUTE
“It’s 2022, Sunghoon, nobody says things like ‘man up’ anymore.”
😭😭😭😭😭
“You always say that, but how the fuck am I supposed to ask her out when she’s only ever seen me as her rival? Plus, she’s head over heels for that prick.”
Give it a chance park WE NEVER KNOW HMMMM.
oh it just hit me what happens or their fall out in a way. now im sad now im too sad to continue ill be back after a moment im back and im gonna erase memory of what happens SHHHH
He hated the idea of you having to be there as a waitress, handing out drinks and mini toasts to entitled guests who probably wouldn’t even look at you. There had to be a few strings he could pull, right?
YAYY MY JAY BOY GO SLAY GET YO GIRL OF DREAMS IG 🤣
“Wow, he does have good taste.”
WOAH WOAH GO JAY I SEE YOU BABE HEHEHENE
While they didn’t make you look like a Hunger Games Capitol citizen, when they were done with you, the reflection that looked back at you in the mirror was uncanny.
I LOVW THE REFERENCE PLUS I LEGIT THOUGHT OF THAT WHEN THEY SAID MAKE UP AND LITTLE GLAMMED UP LOL
Because you’re the most amazing person I’ve ever met and the world should know about it, was his immediate thought. But of course, he’d never say that out loud, so he opted for,
SAY YOU COWARD SAY IT. OR ELSE IM GOING RUN BEHIND YOU WITH THIS BROOM FONT MAKE ME GO ALL ASIAN MOM ON YOU JAY FUCKINH SAY IT TO YN #biggestyn&jayshipper
is it me or is it a bilingual thing to suddenly change to ur mother tongue when you're extremely excited or extremely annoyed cuz its taking a lot in me to not swtich languages right now and you wont understand shit i said😭😭
“Anyway, I’m doing the closing speech soon. I’m gonna be awesome, so look closely, yeah?” You knew he wanted to look cool, but you thought he sounded like an excited kid who was about to put on a show for his family. How cute, you thought, and immediately chased that thought away from your brain. That damn champagne must’ve been laced with something.
look at you yn finally finding who you actually like awwn <33 cutie Jay is such a cute i wanna hug him. give him a highfive or something idk honestly.
Nothing was off-limits when it came to their rivalry, and you were most definitely not an exception, not to Heeseung. He couldn’t stand seeing Jay have something he didn’t. At that moment, he made up his mind.
FUCK. OFF. HEESEUNG. I HOPE YOU TRIP AND FALL OR HIT YOUR TOE NESR YOU BED.
this is a one-time thing. Find an excuse, say we broke up or whatever. Fake dating is like, the most predictable trope ever,”
IT REALLY IS BUT I STILL LOVE IT AND I EAT IT UP EVERYTIME 🤭
"Y/N, be honest with us. Is Park Jay your sugar daddy?”
sunoo 🤝 me
big brained frr
After a moment, Sieun broke the silence: “Y/N, you’ve become a real walking rom-com. I’m so proud of you.”
me too. can my friends be in one too its so borING I NEED SOME EXCITEMENT IN MY LIFE TOO wtf
“Y/N, that’s literally the whole concept of fake dating. You’ll think it’s only that one time, and before you know it, you’ll be married with three children, and it won’t be fake anymore,”
SO TRUE FORTUNE TELLER LOL.
“And you’ll be blowing something else soon…” Sunoo muttered, just loud enough for your table to hear.
its NOT A LIE SOOOOOO 🤭🤭
“Your whole rivalry thing is too cute, I can’t take it seriously. You won’t admit it to yourself, but you clearly like Jay a lot more than you do Heeseung,”
PLS THINK BOUT WHAT HE SAID YALL ARE SO IN LOVE ITS SO ?!?!?&#(#,#((# MAKES ME WANNA BREAK THE FORTH WALL AND PUT YOU GUYS TPGTHER AND BE LIKE THEY LIVED HAPPY AFTER THE END.
She looked at you with a knowing smile that moms loved to wear. “I do know. You’re the one who doesn’t.” You’d dismissed her with a roll of your eyes. Everybody around me’s going crazy, you thought.
see RVEN THE MOM KNOWS YN PLS TAKE THE HINT FOR FUCK SAKE IM GOING TO..... ITS SO CUTE HONESTLY TLOVE YN BEING IN DENIAL KINDA.
“Yeah, I noticed. I don’t think anything you’ve ever done or said offended me more than that one time you showed up to class wearing a ‘where the hell have you been, loca?’ t-shirt.”
STOPNDKDKD I DIDNT GET TO FINISH TWILIGHT CUZ I THOUGHT IT WAS WERIDS NGL BUT LMAOO GO ROCK THAT T-SHIRT IG.
“Just say I’m pretty and move on, Jongseong.”
OMFHSIBDKDKDKD
I thonk i missed some parts here but anyways
“but my father’s company, the one I’m in charge of now, only started being successful when I was in high school. My dad worked his way up from the ground, so he and I both know what it’s like to not be well-off. I’ve tried to not turn Jay into one of those rich kids who think they’ll rule the world just cause they have money, and… well, I hope I did a good job.”
HE REALLY IS !!! i love him !! I love mamaa and papa park sm they the best ngl <3 everyone so nice they are so nice and fun lovw jay sm ill cry sp bad odk what im even saying right now. The whole dinner scene has my heart its so really cute and wholesome.
“Fine, fine!” you said between breathless giggles. She finally relented. “I think Jay’s hot.”“Do you, now?”
I SCREAMED I WAS ON THE FLOOR I WAS DOWN BAD TOO
The fact that he was manspreading and leaning back on his hands, the top buttons of his shirt undone and his trousers stretching against his thighs, wasn’t particularly helping.
only one word and one word only hot.
“Um, I’ve got something, actually. I forgot to give it to you with the rest of the things.” He fished a small box out of his bag and got up to stand behind you. He took out the necklace and put it around your neck, asking you to hold your hair up. You complied, looking at his reflection in the mirror. His hands slightly brushed the back of your neck as he locked the necklace, and you had to keep yourself from visibly shivering at his touch. This was infinitely worse (or better) than him zipping up your dress.
SCREAMIHDJD BLEEDONGD IGHTISNS LOSINGSIDB BFODHURHEODNO
DHEMEOOBPKSGSUHSK
OKAY JUST REALIZED THE PART I REFUSE TO ACKNOWLEDGE IS COMING SOON QND I DONT WANNA EVER REMEMBER THAT HAPPILY EVER AFTER WITHOUT THAT PART SHH
He walked you to your room, tucked you in bed and even got a wet wipe to take your makeup off for you. ”The sight of Jay cooking breakfast for you and your mother alone was enough to cure your hangover. You sneakily watched from the staircase as he expertly flipped pancakes and cooked eggs at the same time, all while holding a conversation with your mom. You walked into the kitchen and poured yourself a cup of coffee before taking a seat next to your mom, trying to but failing to suppress a smile. “I didn’t know you were also a housewife, Jongseong,”
He really is we love a house wife jongseong so much. love my men as housewives fr
“Y/N, there’s no way in hell you don’t wanna date that boy. Hell, if he wasn’t half my age, I probably would."
SAME YN's M0M SAME ME TOO
“Isn’t it common knowledge that Breaking Dawn is the last book in the series?” “It’s just that you’ve mentioned them so often, I thought I should check at least the first one out. Turns out they’re pretty addictive,” he admitted sheepishly. “Research purposes, of course.” A short silence ensued, the sort of silence you should’ve been used to with Jay by now but that always made you feel giddy - the sort that’s awkward in a lighthearted way, the sort where you’re repeating all the words that have just been said in your head and committing them to memory. The sort where you hope the other is feeling all the things you’re feeling.
STOP THATS SO ?!?!?#&¥#, I FEEL SP HAPPY SO FEELINGS MY FEELINGS ARE BEINGNPLAYED I FEEL SO I LOVE WITH IT WHEN PEOPLE SOMETHING WHEN PEOPLE LIKE IT SM AND YOU GET THE POINT JAY IS SUCH A SIMP omfg JUST KISS ALREADY GUYS ITS HRUTING ME MORE. #jaylittlesimp
“But you did. I think that shot of you will end the film perfectly.”
omg. omfg. omfg OMFG IM GOING TO LOSE IT IM GOING TO JUMP IM GPING TO MELT EVAPRATE IDK SCREAM THROW UP THAS SONDIDNDKDNDB I LOVE IT WTF I LOVE THIS SCENE SO MUCH ITS SO RAW AND SO BEAUTIFUL I JUST. I CANT. I CANT.
“Then we’re more similar than I’d thought,” you said, and looked at him again.
we love some bonding time fr
“Um. Yeah, I knew,” he mumbled. He still wouldn’t look you in the eye.
“Since the beginning, really. My dad’s not the type to do favors, and he wants to keep up that image. So if you’re my girlfriend, he wouldn’t give you the internship.”
stfu jay i. i BO BOOO BOOO no it broke me so much cuz yn reallyvwanted that internship and jay cpuld LEAST HAVE HINTED HER IG ?!??!! URGH fucker. oh god that would mean.... heeseung ew.
“That’s none of your business, Heeseung,” you replied curtly, opening the book.
exactly leave taje social que and LEAVE.
Plus, you had the perfect dress for the occasion.
SEXY LOVE IT MWAH
It was his turn to laugh. “Wow. That’s impressive. You managed to fool me.” His smile dropped. “Now get the fuck out.”
I hope you get kicjed in your balls. I curse you wtv. Hate you.
You sighed amusedly as if Heeseung was just joking around. “I just think it’s funny that you won’t fuck me because I’m not actually Jay’s girlfriend, when that’s not stopped you from getting with a different girl every single weekend. Whore,” you said, adding that last part in a whisper.
SPEAK THE TRUTHH BABE
“I like you too, Y/N.”
finally amd they lived happy ever after the end.
the "yeah" YEAH IM THAT WAS HOT.
“That’s okay. I would’ve waited my whole life if it meant I could have you at the end.” Butterflies erupted all over your stomach at his words. You kissed him like you’d stop breathing if you didn’t.
Me too hun me too
THAT WAS SO CUTE OMFGDUDBNFN I LOVE IT SM ONCE AGAIN YOU DID IT IT WAS SO BEAUTIFUL NOW I GO CRY AND ANNPY FRIENDS ABOUT THIS AGAIN. THANK YOU FOR WRITING THIS MASTERPIECE
anon what if i start crying in this train… this is like. the best kind of feedback ever 😭😭😭😭 the freaking out over jay and y/n being cute and being idiots is so real tbh.. all those keyboard smashes are making me so happy hahaha also the fact that this is a reread 🙏🙏🙏 thank u so so so much anon u deserve the world for this fr it literally means so much to me… you’re off my holding at gunpoint list 🙏 also thanks for hating heeseung this much it’s what he deserves ANYWAYS RHANK Y THANK UOU THANK YOU I LVOE YOU HOPE BOYH AIDES OF UOUR OILLOW ARE COLD TONIGHT
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since you’ve fallen down the simon/daphne hole, can you do a drabble of their first meeting from simon’s pov? thank you! x
So because this is not really for my Prompt-A-Thon thing, I was going to put it on the back burner, but then I finished writing what was in my inbox, so I decided to go rewatch the first meeting scene, and then I watched the whole first episode again, because... because.
Also, I would not call it falling down into a hole... I would say more like there was this giant ocean and I thought it was a puddle and now I’m drowning in it send help and a support group.
Anyways.
Here’s the first meeting from Simon POV
NOW ALSO ON AO3
He would stay for once dance, which he would not partake in, one drink, which he would sip at politefully, and one conversation, which would be with absolutely no mothers. And then, he would give his Godmother, the rather terrifying Lady Danbery, a nod. And with that, he would disappear.
Just as he wished he could now, standing within the doorway and taking in the ball. He had always avoided such events, avoided the city as a whole during the Season, except his father had only just passed, and he was now required to attend to the duties that had fallen upon him. He could have pushed off all meetings with lawyers and bankers and even the Queen for a few months by citing that he was in mourning, however much that was a lie, but not for the entirety of the season.
Better to get this over with here and now before retreating to the country house, or anywhere else where there would be no mothers, wishing to make their daughters a Duchess.
Fortune was on his side at the fact that he had simply never attended a season before. He had never been introduced to society. He had never been to any balls. He had not been raised at his father’s side. While, yes, a number of gentlemen might recognize him from his school days, they were not trying to wed off their daughters. No, that would fall to their fathers. All of his schoolmates were likely in bars and brothels and clubs, which is exactly where he was going after this little endeavor had ended.
In and out. Lady Danberry could not say she had not seen him, however much the woman frightened him. He would even go so far as to greet her, if there were no older women around her. And then, he should disappear.
Except, that was not what was happening, because before he could even find a drink, before the next dance had even begun upon which he could set his own mental timer, he was being accosted by a mother and her daughters. And then, as soon as the words Your Grace had passed her lips, another mother and daughter were upon him, until he was surrounded by them.
His father choosing to die only weeks before the start of the Season was surely one last Fuck You.
With a round of apologies, he pulled himself away, citing that he was being called by his Godmother and simply must attend to her. That, of course, was met with a round of sighs at how gentlemanly he was, a truly good man in the heart of London. Honestly, it was the first excuse he could come up with, except now, he was forced to look for the old bat.
He thought he saw her cane, every present at her side, when he felt something rush into him, like a horse, or a demon. Jostled, he looked down to see it was instead a small girl, and was she even old enough to be out for her first Season?
He tried to not snap at her, tried to not insist she remove herself from his presence, except she was already apologizing, and how could he be rude to her when she was being polite. He bit his tongue instead, and gave her a slight nod. “Forgive me.”
Ah yes, now where had that woman gone - the group which she had been part of before had now dispersed, and-
“Tell me your name.”
It was the little girl again, and he raised his brow as he took her in, at how impertinent she was. As if she did not already know - the whole ton was already speaking his name, his rank, his holdings, likely even how many pounds a year he had come in. Still, he had to admit, it was a good enough attempt at getting him to speak to her, when he had no intention of doing so.
“Am I honestly to believe you do not already know my name?” he asked, no longer amused with her as she had just repeated her question. Perhaps not a little girl - perhaps a spinster he had misjudged, desperate to be wed off before her younger sisters were... or perhaps she was the younger sister, wanting to make a better match than the elder had made.
And now, the idiot girl was laughing, as though he had said something funny. And she had thought this might get his attention? False laughter? He should not have attended. He had no patience for such pathetic attempts at seducing him into a dance.
“If you desired an introduction, madam, I do believe accosting me to be the least civilized of ways,” he said with a sniff, no longer interested in entertaining whatever was occurring here. He needed an escape, some sort of way to get away from this child. “Truly, they will try anything.”
“Sir, that is not…” She seemed flustered for words, a clear sign that he was correct. She had known who he was, then, and had come seeking out his fortunes. Anything would be preferable to this. She would even be the sort of girl to chase him into the gardens, wanting to be caught alone with him. Well, he would certainly be avoiding all gardens for the near future. “What is your name?”
He heard it then, his last name, at least, called out from across the room - but thankfully, it was his savior, his hero, one of his oldest friends. Thank goodness. This one, as well, was without a wife, which meant he might foist the girl onto him instead.
“Bridgerton,” he called out, trying to dismiss the girl as he cut her off.
“Come here, old friend,” his school mate said, the two of them grasping hands. “I heard news of your father. Deuce take it, you are no longer Basset.”
Simon smiled a little to himself, trying to hide his inner rage. In truth, he hated what he was about to be called - it was his father’s title. If he were allowed, he would destroy the title itself, and the house with it. He did not want to be called such, and would not allow one of his few friends in the world to do so. “I shall…”
“Hastings! The Duke of Hastings, now known forevermore,” Bridgerton finished.
Simon could feel his words choked in his throat, and it was his worst fear, another of the reasons he avoided society. To stumble over his words now would be… everything his father had feared. It would make the old man right in his assessment, that Simon was… broken.
“The Duke of Hastings, is it?” he heard from the girl, who he had quite forgotten was there.
She looked amused, now, although he did not know why. In fact, the amusement, it was a better look on her than the one he had seen earlier, the way she had tried to trick him, as though… well, she seemed surprised by his name now. She was a better actress, suddenly.
“Right, Hastings, this is my sister.”
Sister. Sister.
Everything in his mind came whirling to a stop in his brain, every other thought about avoiding mothers and little girls and their pretending to not know who he was, or pretending to know exactly who he was, it all just disappeared, as he quickly repeated what Bridgerton had just said.
“Daphne, Hastings and I know each other from our days at Oxford, days we shall not soon forget.”
He was looking at her in a new light, now. There was certainly no way that her brother would ever allow her around him. Perhaps, he had read the situation wrong to begin with. She had been looking over her shoulder, as though afraid or nervous - had she truly not known who he was? Was it all a chance encounter?
“Yes. As I am well aware of the company you keep, brother, I am certain your days with His Grace were most civilized indeed, the girl, Daphne, Miss Bridgerton was saying.
Simon had tried to fake a smile at Bridgerton’s mention of their school days, but now, as he watched her speak of the company her brother kept, he could not help it - he suddenly found himself amused, in awe, in… well, he felt something. Perhaps it was even wonder, at the way that she quickly had a retort for her brother, insulting them both while making it sound as though it were a compliment.
She had no interest in marrying him, of that he could be certain. At least, not at this very moment.
And that suddenly made her intriguing. The look she gave him, he might even call it loathing, certainly judgemental. She had no interest in being his Duchess. Well then, the little girl was suddenly very interesting to him, and he had no idea what to do with that.
Bridgerton mentioned the club, which Simon had already planned on attending, but he needed to step away - he had already been here for far too long, had had a conversation, and now, he needed to kiss his Lady Godmother goodnight, and disappear with it.
Before he was trapped in another conversation.
“Indeed. Evening, Bridgerton.” He stopped, turning his attention to her fully, committing the look of her to memory. She had looked too young to him at first glance, but now that he was looking at her, she looked to be most lovely indeed. Bridgerton had mentioned his sister a few times, how she was the Diamond of the family… Far too pure for Simon to ever look at again, but she was indeed quite lovely. “Miss Bridgerton.”
The girl gave him a nod, then took her brother’s arm as they walked away. He could not help himself, then, could not stop himself as he turned in place, watching the pair walk away.
The girl, Daphne… very lovely. Her eyes, they spoke to him in some way, her features that he once thought too young were now something he could politely call dainty, and the way her eyes had thinned at him, upon realization as to who he was to her brother…
She looked back over her shoulder to him, and then her eyes lowered, as though scanning his form. He did not look away, simply held his place, watching her walk away.
Lovely. Very lovely indeed.
Away. He needed to be away from this place. A girl like Daphne Bridgerton was certainly not one that would arrive at the club, and most certainly would not warm his bed, which meant that she was of no consequence to him.
Ah, there she was - it was time to bid his guest good night, before he got into any more trouble.
Or did something foolish, like ask a lovely girl to dance.
#bridgerton#bridgerton fic#Ficlet Fridays#1111 Follower PromptAThon#Answered Ask#Anonymous#saphne#saphne fanfic#my bridgerton
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The Spaceport
A conversation in a spaceport bar leaves Jamie feeling a bit confused.
on ao3.
“So.” Leaning into her chair, Sam tilted her her head back, her eyes drifting over towards the Doctor. He had made it to the bar, leaning across it to talk to the barkeeper, one fist held up to his ear with his index and pinky fingers sticking out. Whatever he was miming was totally inscrutable to Jamie, but the barkeeper seemed to understand it well enough, straightening up and wandering away into the back room. Shrugging to herself, Sam swung her feet up onto the Doctor’s chair, crossing one leg over the other quite delicately for someone wearing boots that looked like they were made of more metal than leather.
She was… a strange girl, Sam. Good strange, Jamie was quick to silently tell himself. There was a clear, no-nonsense way about her that he liked. It could verge on brusque, at times, but there was always a twinkle of humour in her eyes as she spoke, and she had a quick, wry tongue. And it was not often that someone could keep pace with the Doctor’s enthusiasm, either. She had managed admirably, occupying him for a solid half hour in an animated discussion about spaceship engines and the merits of various fuels. Their verbal sparring had left Jamie with nothing to do but nurse his drink and periodically check his watch, wondering if Ben and Polly might be kind enough to arrive a few minutes early.
They hadn’t, in the end. And so the Doctor had gone to ask the barkeeper if he could borrow some sort of contraption to check on them. But left alone with Sam, he did not feel nearly so awkward as he had been expecting. A few months ago, he might not have known what to make of her, with her close-cropped hair and firm, oil-greased-palm handshake and trousers absolutely covered in straps and pockets and holsters for tools. Now, though, he could see more clearly that he was the anomaly, perched a bit too politely on a rusty metal stool in a run-down spaceport bar. He liked Sam, anyway. That was the important thing.
She was a bit like Polly, in a way, he thought. They had the same sort of sisterliness about them, not afraid to comfort but not afraid to tease, either. Idly, he wondered if Sam had any siblings. Or if Polly did. He had never thought to ask.
“You and the Doctor,” Sam carried on, swirling her drink around in its bottle. “How’d you meet him?”
Well, there was a tricky one to start. “After a battle,” he said. The Doctor had warned him over and over again about telling people too much – letting on that they were time travellers – but Sam didn’t need to know which battle he was talking about. She must have her suspicions anyway, he thought, with the way the Doctor had been talking about spaceships that he claimed would be after her time. “We lost,” he added curtly.
“Oh.” A little of the humour faded out of Sam’s eyes, replaced by apparently genuine regret. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean -”
“Och, don’t worry.” He flicked one hand dismissively. “It’s been -” How long had it been? A few weeks? A few months? It felt so far away, now, after all this time with the Doctor. Not always, and definitely not at night, when he woke up sweaty and gasping from some half-remembered dream. Sometimes it only seemed like yesterday that the Doctor had plucked him off Drummossie moor. But here, sitting at a table in a seedy spaceport bar with a girl who fixed spaceships for a living – all that blood and screaming and cannonfire could have been a lifetime ago. Could have been someone else’s memories. He was glad of it, really. “Don’t worry,” he repeated. “Anyway, the Doctor was there, an’ -”
“You just took off in his spaceship,” Sam finished for him, grinning.
“It’s a wee bit more complicated than that,” Jamie protested. “He saved our lives, me an’ - an’ a few friends.”
At some point, he was sure, Sam would lean back far enough in her chair that it would topple over. The thing already had its two battered front legs off the ground, but somehow she leant back even further, tipping her head over to take a swig of her drink. Stronger than the cheap and nasty rocket fuel the spaceport sold, she had said, and she grimaced every time she swallowed. When she set the bottle down again, though, a little red circle on the label caught Jamie’s eye. Alcohol free. Strong only in its bitterness, apparently.
“Your friends who’ve gone to old Newbry’s office?” she asked.
Jamie shook his head. “Ben an’ Polly were already travellin’ with the Doctor when I met him. It was Polly that asked me tae join them.”
The bottle was halfway to Sam’s lips when she paused again. “So what happened to your other friends? Or are they hiding in that box of yours?”
“Left. Gone tae Fr-” He caught himself just in time. “Gone somewhere else. I didnae want tae go with them. Was gonnae go home, but -”
“But then you went along with the Doctor instead,” Sam finished again, nodding. Like it was the most obvious thing in the world, and not something Jamie had spent night after sleepless night debating with himself. Well, it had seemed obvious at the time, he supposed, in the delirious simplicity of hunger and exhaustion and adrenaline and fear. Whether it seemed obvious afterwards was a different question. He raised his own bottle to his lips, just for something to do with his hands. “Love at first sight, then, was it? With the Doctor?”
It took him a moment to realise exactly what she had meant – but when he did, any thoughts of whether he should have stayed in Scotland flew out of his head. His drink caught in his throat, leaving him coughing and spluttering and wheezing, half-doubled over to pound his fist against his stomach in the hopes of hacking the mouthful back up again. When at last he emerged, watery-eyed and hoarse, Sam was frowning at him a little bemusedly.
Well, he supposed, that was one way of distracting himself from wondering if he should have stayed behind. Not that he was too keen on repeating the experience.
“What?” he rasped out at last.
“Well, you must’ve liked him, to jump in his spaceship when you’d only just met him.”
“Polly invited me,” Jamie repeated, a bit too weakly. “No’ the Doctor.”
But Sam was smiling wistfully, like she was not really hearing him. “I did that, a long time ago. A girl asked me if I wanted to leave the backwater of a planet I grew up on.”
Despite himself, he was curious. “What happened?” The question tumbled out of his mouth before he could decide whether asking would confirm Sam’s suspicions for her. Her very wrong suspicions, he added to himself. “To her, I mean.”
Sam burst into laughter at that, though Jamie could not see what was so funny. “You’ve met her,” she said. “At the scrap shop, remember?” Frowning, Jamie thought back to the dusty little scrap shop. There had been nobody there except - “Aliye.”
“But -” He remembered Aliye, alright. It was the rest of it that was giving him trouble. Any shock he might once have felt at Sam having a wife paled before his incredulity that a human – or someone who looked so human, anyway – could be married to someone with six arms and blue skin and a face like a cat. At least the Doctor looks human. The thought drifted through his mind out of nowhere, and he scowled at it. All Sam’s questioning must be confusing him. “You’re married tae her?”
“Mmhm.” Sam was eyeing him oddly. Well, Jamie supposed, she had been born hundreds of years after him. Maybe even thousands of years. It was probably perfectly normal for women to have wives with too many limbs and alien faces. “What’re a bunch of nice people like you doing in a place like this, anyway?”
“Eh?”
“Well, you know.” Sweeping her bottle around her in a wide arc, Sam gestured at the bar around them.
It was hardly that bad, Jamie thought. Lanterns hanging from the metal beams that criss-crossed the ceiling gave out the only light, yellow and greasy, and the tables were pitted with indents from knives and blackened with blasts from the funny light-guns people had in the future, and most of the other occupants were either too loud or too quiet – but it was not that bad.
“I’ve seen worse,” he said. Sam raised her eyebrows, and he shrugged in silent admission. “Alright, maybe I haven’t. But I’d rather be here than – well, a lot of other places.” Now it was Sam’s turn to shrug. “An’ what about you? An’ Aliye? You’re nice, aren’t ye?”
That made Sam laugh, deep and loud. “If you want to put it that way, sure. But we don’t plan on staying long. We’d have been off once Aliye finished that job, if you lot hadn’t come along.”
“Sorry we kept ye.”
“Don’t be sorry.” Sam laughed again. “Best fun I’ve had in years, hijacking that spaceship. But we’ve been around this sort of place before. Your Doctor seem to know his way around, alright, but the rest of you...”
“We didnae mean tae come here,” Jamie explained. “We just – arrived.”
“Mm.” Apparently done with leaning back in her chair, Sam let its front legs crash to the floor again. “Most people who arrive somewhere by accident go sightseeing, you know. They don’t steal the local gang leader’s spaceship and almost crash it into an asteroid.”
“Aye, well.” Jamie grinned, rubbing at his shoulder a little ruefully. Crashing into the asteroid would have been a death sentence, he knew – but swerving away from the thing at the last minute had hardly been painless. “That’s what ye get, when you’re travellin’ with the Doctor. Ye learn tae accept it.” He half-turned his head, his gaze drifted over to the bar where the Doctor still stood, some wee device clutched in one hand. He was talking animatedly to the barkeeper, gesturing wildly. “I’m no’ going tae marry him,” he said, almost automatically.
“Whatever you say.” Sam was watching him too now, sighing. “Looks like he’s out of money to pay for the phone.”
Twisting around again, Jamie sighed when he saw that the Doctor's discussion with the barkeeper was starting to look a bit heated. “’Course he is,” he muttered, more to himself than to Sam. “I’d better go an’ see if he’s alright,” he added more loudly.
Sam grinned. “Here,” she said, reaching down to rummage in one of her many pockets. She withdrew her hand once with a small spanner – twice with a handful of nuts and bolts – three times with a motley collection of wrapped sweets. For one startling moment, Jamie could have believed he was looking at the Doctor, not Sam. At last, she delved in to find a palmful of tarnished silver coins. “Give him these.”
“I can’t -”
“Go on.” She held her hand out further towards him.
He took them slowly, a little jerkily, wondering all the way if she was about to pull her hand away and close her fingers around the coins. But she just broadened her smile and flexed her fingers outwards invitingly until the coins were warm and solid in his hand.
“Thanks,” he said, struggling to turn his confused frown into an appreciative smile. “I dinnae think we have anythin’ tae repay ye with -”
“Consider it a gift.” Sam was lounging back in her chair again now, the neck of her bottle held between two fingers so it dangled loosely over the table. Her eyes had moved away from Jamie, and he did not have to turn to know what – or rather, who – was making her face light up like that. “Here’s Aliye,” she said, sure enough. “Now -” She tilted her head towards the bar. “Go and help him out.”
Shrugging to himself, Jamie pushed himself up to wander a little aimlessly across the room, flashing a grin at Aliye as he passed. She waved two of her arms at him in return, but her eyes were keenly fixed on Sam.
When he was halfway to the bar, he glanced over his shoulder, looking back towards the pair of them. Aliye had sat down beside Sam, the two of them leaning their heads together conspiratorially. A moment later, Sam met Jamie’s eyes, winking at him. Cheeks reddening, he turned away.
He took in a deep breath before striding over more confidently to clap the Doctor on the back. “Here,” he said, holding out his fistful of coins. “Use these.”
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How Being a Woman in Hardcore Helped Me Learn to Love Myself
Written by Jen Moglia. Graphic by Laura Cross.
Since this is my first piece written for Girls Behind the Rock Show, I figured that I should introduce myself; hi, my name is Jennifer, but most people call me Jen. I live on Long Island in New York, and my favorite things include my cats, the color pink, giving gifts to my Animal Crossing villagers, and watching sports. Above all else, however, I love music.
I frequently refer to music as the love of my life. It somehow plays a role in everything that I do. I got my first iPod when I was five years old, stacked with everything from Miranda Cosgrove and Avril Lavigne to Tool and Deftones. Some of my favorite memories growing up are sitting in my pink and purple bedroom singing and dancing along to Paramore’s crushcrushcrush and Fall Out Boy’s Thnks Fr Th Mmrs on the local alternative radio station. I danced for 12 years, played cello for seven, and am currently a wannabe ukulele rockstar after buying one on impulse and starting to teach myself how to play four years ago. Even on the simplest, barely noticeable levels, music has been everywhere in my life for as long as I can remember; even now, I can’t complete a basic task without a song playing in my headphones.
Music became an even bigger part of my life when I started attending live shows. I went to my first concerts at age 10, seeing my two favorite artists - Nickelodeon boy band Big Time Rush and classic progressive rock band Rush - within one month of each other. By the time I was 15, I had been to my fair share of arena/seated shows with one or both of my parents, from Fifth Harmony to Fitz and the Tantrums to Alice in Chains. My first general admission show was seeing the Foo Fighters at Citi Field with both my mom and dad when I was 12, but my first pop-punk general admission show (yes, they’re different) came a few years later. I had the typical list of favorite bands that you would expect from a young teenager getting into alternative music: Neck Deep, Knuckle Puck, Real Friends, and State Champs.
In late 2018, I was able to see all four of these bands for the first time, and I am a firm believer that it changed the course of my life. I met, cried-during, and eventually got the setlist for Neck Deep at Stereo Garden on Long Island in September. I sang all of “Untitled” at the barricade for Knuckle Puck at SI Hall at the Fairgrounds in Syracuse in October. I had my first minor concussion scare (yay!) before Real Friends’ set at Irving Plaza in New York City in November. Finally, I crowd surfed for the first time during State Champs’ anniversary show for The Finer Things at House of Independents in Asbury Park in December. After just a few shows, I had fallen in love with this new brand of live music that I had just been introduced too. There was something so magical to me about skin covered in sweat and Sharpie marks, feet hurting from dancing in the pit all night, and meeting strangers on line outside the venue who would become your best friends and know your deepest secrets by the end of the night.
After making some friends at all of the pop-punk shows I was going to, they started to tell me that I should get into hardcore music. I was hesitant at first - the heaviest thing I had listened to at that point was nowhere near the snippets of hardcore that my friends had played for me - but, eventually, I decided to give it a chance. I was bored and home alone with nothing to do one night over the summer of 2019 when I listened to my first hardcore album, Laugh Tracks by Knocked Loose. Immediately, I got that gut feeling that you have when you know you’ve heard one of your favorite bands for the first time. I knew that this was something special that I was meant to find at this point in my life. For the rest of the summer, I worked my way through the rest of my friends’ hardcore and hardcore-adjacent recommendations, with Cost of Living by Incendiary, Stage Four by Touche Amore, You’re Not You Anymore by Counterparts, Time & Space by Turnstile, Springtime and Blind by Fiddlehead, Smile! Aren’t You Happy by Absence of Mine, Bad to my World by Backtrack, and Reality Approaches by Harms Way being some of my favorites. By the time the next school year started, I was hooked, and I already had tickets to my first few hardcore shows in the fall.
My first hardcore show was in November 2019, seeing Knocked Loose at Webster Hall in New York City - fitting, right? They were on tour supporting their new record A Different Shade of Blue, which I had become obsessed with the minute I heard it for the first time. Although I was ridiculously scared of getting stepped on and breaking all my bones (yes, that was an actual fear of mine), I had the time of my life at that show. There was something about this newer kind of live music that prompted a cathartic release, one that I hadn’t found anywhere else before. As soon as the show was over, I was counting the days until my next one.
My love for live hardcore music (and live music and hardcore music in general) has only grown since then, and that story sort of ends there. However, I want to go back to that first hardcore band that I listened to, Knocked Loose, and the album they put out that first summer that stole my heart. I was taken by storm as soon as the first notes of A Different Shade of Blue rang through my headphones, but something was different about the third track, A Serpent’s Touch, particularly the ending; I heard a voice that sounded a little bit more like my own.
This song features Emma Boster, who does vocals for one of my favorite hardcore bands right now, Dying Wish. When I heard A Serpent’s Touch for the first time, though, I had no idea who she was. I was used to the aggressive vocal delivery of frontmen in hardcore, particularly that of Knocked Loose’s Bryan Garris, but hearing it come from her changed my perspective on a lot of things. It’s not like the song was super angry and changed its tune to be lighter once the token girl came along; in her verse, Boster sings, “I watched the venom / Overcome your spirit / Jealousy holds you now / Distorting your appearance / Bleed out.” These were lyrics that held the same intensity that the lines screamed by the men held, and they sounded just as cool coming out of her mouth. As cheesy as it sounds, it had never even occurred to me that women had a place in this new world that I had discovered. The audiences in the live videos I watched (and eventually at the shows I attended) were made up of mostly men who looked bigger and older than me. When I did start going to shows, most of the non-man population consisted of my friends and I. Emma Boster, along with so many others, began to open my eyes to the fact that a place for people like me existed in this community. It didn’t matter that I had bright red hair or liked butterflies or wore pink - I was just as much a part of this magic as the men multiple feet taller than me with tattoo-covered arms, and I belonged there just as much as they did.
As time went on and I got more involved in the genre’s music and community, I discovered more bands with women in them, and it only fueled this fire of empowerment inside of me. When I felt insecure, I’d watch live sets from Krimewatch, a hardcore band from New York City, just half an hour away from my hometown. They have multiple women as members, including their energetic badass of a vocalist, Rhylli Ogiura. Year of the Knife became one of my all-time favorites, and their bassist Madison Watkins became a serious inspiration to me; the way that she can balance killing it on stage and running the cutest, most pink apparel brand I’ve ever seen (aptly titled Candy Corpse) amazes me. Even some of the bands I’ve found more recently have had an impact on me. I started listening to Initiate last year when their EP Lavender came out, and their beautifully colorful cover art caught my eye before I had heard any of their songs. Their vocalist, Crystal Pak, is also a woman, and she’s insanely talented. Discovering this kind of representation in this new universe that I had come to feel so at home in introduced me to a world of confidence and determination that I had never known before.
When people ask me why I love hardcore so much, I often give the easy answer; “the music sounds good.” If the person allows me to ramble on for a little longer, the answer becomes much more emotional and cheesy. Hardcore taught me that speaking up for what I believe in is important, and if there’s something I’m passionate about, it’s worth shouting about. I became familiar with this when listening to one of my favorite bands ever, Incendiary (the second hardcore band I ever checked out), before quickly realizing that politics are a pretty common topic within the genre - it’s what this music was practically built on. The first time I heard their vocalist Brendan Garrone singing about police brutality and injustice on songs like Force of Neglect and Sell Your Cause, I realized that there is so much more to music than just sounding good.
However, at its core, the thing I love so much about hardcore is what it taught me about being a woman. Growing up, I was the loud girl with the personality bigger than the room who always had something to say and had a never ending supply of excitement about just about everything. As I got older, I was taught that this was not okay. People didn’t like how enthusiastic I was about everything, or that I constantly had new ideas and new discoveries I wanted to talk about. As cliche as it sounds, I felt like everyone around me was trying to dull my sparkle, especially some of the men that I was encountering on a day-to-day basis. Even when I started to come to terms with my big and bright personality, in turn also coming to terms with my own femininity, I was told that this wasn’t how girls acted. I had to pick one - I could watch Disney princess movies and wear Hello Kitty hair clips, or I could be outspoken about my beliefs; but never both. The women that I mentioned earlier, along with so, so many more, helped me unlearn these toxic mindsets. Seeing someone like Emma Boster take the stage and scream ferociously for a full set helped me see that I could be a girl and still be a powerhouse. Following Madi Watkins around on social media showed me that I could love bands like Year of the Knife and also love heart-shaped purses and wear pink from head to toe. My aggression and passion didn’t make me any less of a woman, and my femininity didn’t make me any less of a force to be reckoned with.
So, at the end of this love letter to hardcore and the women who run it, I say this; thank you for teaching me that I don’t have to shrink myself anymore. It has made a world of a difference.
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Part 3 of the Mahabharata High school AU:
(I’ll attach the link to the first two oarts below. Check them out if you haven’t uwu <3.)
Junior students in the limelight:
Abhimanyu:
Is everybody’s favourite- seniors, teachers, principal, classmates, juniors- EVERYONE LOVES HIM.
Is literally perfection.
Very popular.
All the dirty politics which makes the people in school hate each other is put aside when it comes to going to the junior section and pampering Abhi.
Ma’am Kunti once saw Abhimanyu hanging out with Arjuna and Subhadra, she clicked a picture because she couldn’t stop uwu-ing.
Has all the good qualities he looks up to in his seniors.
Is a precious baby who must be protected at all costs.
“I’ll be better than the best someday.”- boy isn’t wrong!
Ghatotkach:
Super tall.
Chubby.
Is sick of being taller than all his classmates.
A senior, Hidimbi tends to use him as a comforting source. It is very wholesome.
Often goes to Bheema because he wants to be just as good at basketball.
“Hidimbi didi, thanks for the amazing food. I’ll now go practice basketball with Bheema bhaiya.”
Iravan:
The nice rich kid.
Always puts others before himself even at this tender age.
Stays mostly to himself.
But one knows he’s going to do wonders when he grows up.
Once Shiva cane to school for a guest lecture and say Iravan offering someone else his lunch and staying hungry himself. Shiva gave him a chocolate and told Iravan that whenever he needs help Shiva is just a call away. Fr though Shiva always checks up on this kid.
“Umm it’s okay. You can have my life too if you want.”
Uttara:
Has a twin brother.
Cute kid.
too mature for her age.
Heart eyes for cutie Abhi. Abhi heart eyes back.
Teachers don’t let her and Abhimanyu sit together because they don’t stop talking and smiling.
Is a pro dancer. Already has a diploma in Kathak.
Kind of emotional. Cries a lot.
But is still strong, regardless.
“No Abhimanyu. We cannot have a play date today. I have my dance performance.”
Uttar:
Uttara’s twin brother.
Overexcited but in a good way.
Brave.
Gets into accidents A LOT.
Uttar’s most visited spot is the infirmary. The person who knows him best is the school nurse.
Uttar always finds ways to miss dance and music and English class.
“Ah! A fracture again! At least I get to skip the annoying girly dance stuff though.”
Vrishaketu:
Abhimanyu’s bestf because they’re so similar.
Tends to be a little attention deprived.
Can make anyone a friend, LITERALLY.
Krishna group and Dury group come together when it comes to meeting this kid.
Arjuna and Karna put aside their differences to train him for soccer together. One can say Arjuna and Karna could’ve been very good friends had it not been for coach Drona.
“I wish Arjun bhaiya and Karna bhaiya didn’t dislike each other so much.”
(I didn’t include any more kids because there isn’t much to write and I don’t want to make this boring. I’ll leave footnotes if I use any other kids in the fic stories later.)
Present day staff:
(that I forgot to mention)
Virata:
Being helpful makes up for 90% of his personality.
Very approachable.
Never turns his students down.
Volunteers to take up a substitute class whenever possible.
“Let me handle this!”
Keechaka:
The only person who finds him tolerable is Sudeshna.
Extremely controlling.
Filled with toxic masculinity.
Pervert 2.0 (1.0 being Dushasana and 3.0 being Jayadaratha).
Keechaka was passing lewd comments to Draupadi. She was on her way to make him face the consequences but before she reached Bheema had already taken care of him ;).
Shalya:
Indecisive and flaky.
Messes up his schedule and ends up in the wrong classes.
Speaks a lot.
Stubborn.
Always confused.
“I don’t know what I’m doing dude!Let alone why!”
Sudeshna:
Toxic Gossip monger.
Can be very selfish.
Turns blind to her bestf, Keechaka’s glaring and problematic flaws.
Created a scene when Bheem gave Keechaka the beating he deserved.
Also defended him when Yuyutsu publicly called out and humiliated Keechaka for disrespecting women.
Hates Draupadi.
Intolerant.
Can be narrow minded.
“Keechaka isn’t wrong. You have a misunderstanding! These are the ways of the world”
Indra:
Coordinator but everyone ignores him.
Probelmatic in all caps.
Has to interfere everywhere.
Shows up at the worst possible times.
Creates unnecessary problems and then plays the victim card.
Sexist.
“This isn’t a woman’s work.”
Vichitravirya:
Grossly incompetent.
Old.
Is in school only because Satyavati insisted.
Irresponsible.
Doesn’t show up to classes and even when he does the students decide to bunk. He doesn’t even find out.
Has a history of showing up to classes drunk.
“No I’m not drunk. You are.”- passes out in the middle of a lecture.
Senior students in the limelight:
(that I couldn’t fit in the previous post)
Devika:
Quiet.
Happy go lucky.
Literally an angel.
Only one in class who finds Yudhishthir somewhat tolerable.
Is dating the head boy. Nobody understands why she thinks he has potential.
Vrushali:
Sorted and organised.
Probably has more kinds of stick notes than books in her school bag.
Highlighted text books.
Courageous.
Calm but will fight you.
Karna’s girlfriend. Only one who can scold him and show him the right thing to do, ngl.
Vrushali tries very hard to get Karna out of the Dury gang, however, doesn’t try to manipulate/control him.
Once Vrushali dragged Karna while he was mid conversation with Duryodhana, planning to pull a mischief that would land him into trouble. Everyone just stared. It was very iconic.
Valandhara:
Mountain girl uwu.
Industrious to the fullest.
The friend who can calm down Bheem.
Independent.
Vijaya:
Straight A student.
Gives Sahadev full on competition in topping the class.
Nerd.
Reads a lot.
Vijaya looks so cute with her oversized glasses barely able to rest on the bridge of her adorable button nose.
Sahadev fell for her over a conversation about the meaning of life. They kind of have a thing going.
“*random classic literature reference*”
Karenumati:
Is well aware about how pretty she is.
Nakul talks to her without hesitation.
A word around the campus says that Nakul might even ask her out soon.
Shishupal spread the word though, can’t say about the credibility.
Although for some reason Shishupal is very protective of her.
Plays bass and drums.
Link to part 1 of Mahabharata high school AU: https://eclecticwordblender.tumblr.com/post/625462681921568768/foundation
Link to part 2 of Mahabharata high school AU: https://eclecticwordblender.tumblr.com/post/625553068102139904/senior-students-in-the-limelight
This is the last post dealing witch characterisation. I’ll be publishing fictional stories after this. Will leave footnotes if I use a character I haven’t mentioned yet. Let me know if you want me to write about a specific character (via asks, comments or direct messages).
Tagging fandom mutuals because I need attention to matter in life: @bigheadedgirlwithbigdreams @supermeh-krishnafan @soniaoutloud @1nsaankahanhai-bkr @lemponkoira @incorrectmahabharatquotes @chaanv @hoeticulture @hindumythologyevent
The support on this series has been overwhelming so shoutout to these people for all the validation: @the-rambling-maiden @muralofmyths @starsailororastronaut @blueguardian1306
Also, y’all check out @askhindumyths if you like such content uwu.
#its so long i apologise again#incorrect mahabharat quotes#very incorrect mahabharat quotes#unpopular mahabharata opinions#mahabharat theories#mahabharata aus#mahabharata fanfiction#mahabharata#the mahabharata#text posts#desi tumblr#hindu mythology#mahabharat#hindu mythology fanfic#hindumythologyevent#fanfictions#fanfic writing#writers on tumblr#tumblr writers#au writers#source: tumblr#mahabharata fandom#mahabharata memes#hindu mythology fandom#hindu mythologys aus#hindu mythology memes#original content#eclecticwordblender#source: me#source: eclecticwordblender
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The PA - part 3/3
Pairing: Tony Stark x named!Reader
Summary: You have had neough of Tony Stark and his arrogant, selfish ass. So you leave... At least for a while.
Warnings: Swearing (a lot), angst, fluff.
A/N: Ok, this a hostirical date for me, as this is my FIRST EVER story I finished. I know it was a short one, but I am still proud. There is a lot going on in this chapter and I thought of ending it differently but here you go. I hope you all liked it <3
Comments and opinions are always welcomed :*
Words: 6000+ (ooops)
nothing really changed. You were hidden in your office doing everything your boss needed without the need to ask. You sent him everything via email and cared for his health fr the shadow. A cooked dinner and bottles of water were always waiting for him. Adding a hot chocolate for the night. Nothing changed. And yet everything did.
Those hot chocolates you used to make were now drunk alone. There was no billionaire to join you in it with his sarcastic and fun comments. There were no back massage that you enjoyed giving almost as much as he receiving. And what's more, there were no parties for you. You couldn't bear to see him dancing, kissing and flirting with went. You knew you were pathetic. You loved the man who would never see you as more than just a worker and a "kid".
Who were you kidding. You had nothing on the women he was 'seeing'. All those pretty little things with perfect bodies and probably experienced enough to keep him entertained for a whole night.
You swallowed and shook your head to get that image out of it. You were tired. There wasn't more work per se but it exhausted you mentally to always try to omit him. You missed him his face, the smile and cheeky comments. But you couldn't do it to your heart. A heart that has already been broken so many times by the same man.
You looked up when a ping when an email showed up. To your personal email. Your heart skipped a beat and eyes widened their twice size, when you noticed the sender.
"What the fuck?" You whispered and turned around hearing a gasp. You met with a smiling Romanoff, leaving on the edge of the doors.
"This is the first time I heard you swear" She said teasingly. "What got you so worked up?"
You moved away from the laptop for her to see. She read through the email carefully and she looked at you with the biggest softness and pride anyone has ever showed you.
"This is amazing. A damn MIT wants you to work with them. This is huge, honey!" You bit your lip and looked away. "But for some unknown reasons you don't look happy."
"It's just an interview, it doesn't mean I will get the job, and… " You looked away, a shame of even thinking about it in the moment like that.
"And you would have to leave Tony… " You closed your eyes, hating how she was able to just understand you without words. A damn Russian spy stuff. "He's an adult… you'll just find him a new assistant. Or a babysitter, I'm never sure what your official position actually is." You giggled at her playfulness and rolled your eyes at her.
"I have been working for him for so long… I can't just leave him alone." You looked away when she frowned and sighed. Of the 'Disappointed Natasha Romanoff' comes to action.
"What about you? When will you finally take care of yourself?" Her stern tone made you flinch and start to nervously play with the hem of your Iron Maiden shirt. "You had dreams, and I sure know you have hobbies. You're still young, but act like a 60 years old woman, for God's sake." You clenched your fingers and shut your eyes, to stop the tears from falling. She was angry and that was the first time you noticed this. What was worse she was disappointed at you, and that hurt you more than anything.
Natasha Romanoff was like an older sister for you. You learned to love her and you felt her love towards you, despite the fact that she showed it differently to other people. She was there for you and knew about your hidden feelings to Stark. She always supported you and told you how everything will be fine. She understood your shyness and tried to work through your low self esteem. She was always patient with you. Until now. You guessed, everyone had their limit, and ger has just ended.
"You stay here, hidden in this cave. Running away from your feelings. You are afraid to do anything. You got so used to being his assistant that you are afraid of being alone. And your pinning to Tony? I hoped you'd understand that int hat party. He isn't a relationship type of guy and you're not a one night stand type of girl. Your love for him? Stop going for something you can't have!" You lowered your head to hide the tears that started to fall. You clenched your fingers on your thigh so hard that you could feel how your nails climbed into your clothes. But it didn't bother you. The physical was not even close to your mental one. It was one thing to make yourself believe that this love you had would never happen, but when someone else said it to you. It made it real. "Stop living in a dream world and wake up, before it's too late! " She hissed and stormed out of your lablab. And this was when everything you hidden so deep inside you, went out to the light. You asked Jarvis to lock the doors to your lab and you screamed and cried until you had no more tears.
*
"Weren't you a bit too harsh?" She looked at Bucky who was leaning on the wall, near the elevator.
"She needed that." Barnes scoffed and followed the redhead. "She's was about to turn down her dream job for him." Bucky frowned and sighed. "She loves him and all he does is hurt her. It isn't his fault really. He doesn't know, doesn't understand. Stark isn't the type of person that would be able to see true love. This is why she needs to let go. Live her own life. And if getting her dream job and leaving him would make it happen than she needs to. " Barnes smiled sadly. Nat really cared about you. Hse loved you like you were her little sister and he found it charming. But he did feel bad for you. You fell in love with a wrong guy. A very decent human, but a dumb man.
**
You looked at you clothes and sighed. It wasn't you. You didn't dress like that. A pencil skirt and a white shirt. You felt uncomfortable and stupid. You flinched when you put the heels on and sighed. Well it was a job interview. You needed to look presentable. You took your bag with everything you needed in it and took a deep breath. Yes, it was just an interview. Not like you'd get that job. There were hundreds applicants will were probably better than you. But after Nat you decided to give it a try. You didn't speak to her, and if you were being honest, you didn't speak to anyone. No one new about your bid day, not even Tony. He didn't need to know. It was only an interview. The first step of it. Not like you were leaving him just yet.
And so you walked to the elevators and dl being deep down in your thoughts you didn't notice Tony waiting for the elevator, just as you walked out.
"To… Mr. Stark… " You whispered, when you almost walked into him. He looked you over and frowned.
"A hot date?" He asked. You knew he tried to joke but there was something in his tone that made you wonder it he was really kidding.
"I…" You clenched your bag and bit your bottom lip nervously. "I will be back soon." He raised his brow and nodded, not saying anything else walked into the elevator, leaving you standing there. This did not help your anxiety at all. You tried to relax and went to your already waiting Uber.
*
"She has a what now?" Tony shouted looking at Natasha with anger in his eyes. "She never told me! "
"It was hard to tell you when you both omitted Yourselves… " She answered with a roll to her eyes. "MIT if I remember right." His eyes widelec, remembering how much you always wanted to work there. A job interview. You went to a job interview without telling him.
"Well good for her." He shrugged, turning around to miss the way the woman rolled her eyes. "What should I do? Isn't it like breaking some kind of contract? Going to a job interview still working for me?"
"Don't be petty, Tony." She warned him and he scoffed.
"I thought she would at least tell me. You know for references… "
"She wasn't sure she'd get the job. Not to mention the fact I needed to force her to go." He frowned and she rolled her eyes. Men were really stupid. "Talk to her, Tony. But like a proper human being. An adult." She patted him on the shoulder and left the room, leaving him alone.
**
You sighed and sat at your desk, feeling more than tired. The whole interview was exhausted, and you weren’t sure if most of those questions were even appropriate. ‘How close are you with Mr Stark?’ ‘Do you believe Mr Stark would be up to donating money for our cause?’ And more inappropriate and too personal questions for your liking. You were happy when the rector finally showed up. It was when you shined the most. Talking about your PhD project, the possible prospects of it and your father ideas. Even Though he asked you about Stark, those questions were thoughtful.
“He has his reputation”, he chuckled softly and you nodded unable to disagree. “Not many people would leave a safe, warm, probably well-paid job, to come work with us.” He took off his glasses and looked at you. “Is there something I should know? The reason for your application with us?”
“I was right after Uni, when Mr Stark gave me that job.” You answered quietly, feeling a weird shame for even being here. “It was a great opportunity for me to grow, but I want to be a scientist, not a PA.” You smiled and looked him in the eyes. “Don’t get me wrong. Working with Mr Stark was a privilege and I was able to learn so much from him, but it’s time for me to make my own projects.” Visibly satisfied with your answer he put his glasses back on and looked at your CV.
“How about you tell us more about that idea you had?”
You closed your eyes and sighed. You felt good after the whole discussion, but it still felt like you would not get the job. Not to mention, that you would probably have to talk to Tony about your references. You whined and lay on your desk.
“Are you alright, Miss?” Jarvis’ voice was filled with concern, after registering your annoyed noises.
“Not really. I think I have an existential crisis.” You chuckled to yourself, at how stupid that sounded.
“Anything I can help you with?” You smiled at his thoughtfulness.
“Is there some kind of algorithm that would help me choose between what my heart and my brain tell me?” There was a silence for a moment after Jarvis turned on your computer showing you multiple web pages opened.
“I’m afraid there is no algorithm, but there some sociological and psychological studies regarding the issue.” You sat up and laughed out loud at this. “But Mr Stark always considered social sciences an, let me quote, “utter bullshit”, so I am not sure if they would help you.
‘Thank you Jarvis, you’re the best!” You quipped looking through the pages.
“I’ve been told!”
**
“I know that, she worked for me for some time now.” He murmured through the phone. He expected the call for references, but not so soon. He was sure to hear you just come back.
“This is a huge deal. We have never hired someone so young and with so little experience before.” The rector sighed on the other side of the phone. “I need to know if she will work out.” Tony frowned and looked through the window. He had Nat’s voice in his head telling him to be an adult, to not be selfish. But he can’t. He cannot lose you. You were the best and brightest thing in his life now. WIthout you he would be lost. As an Iron Man, and as Tony Stark. So he did something selfish, already hating himself for it.
“She’s a good PA. That’s all I can say.” It was harsh, and was definitely burying your chances. He knew you were more than that. He saw you in his lab, repairing his armour, or adding comments to his plans. You were more than a secretary. You were a genius. The best possible person for this job. But he was petty. He was once again acting like a kid. He heard the rectors deep sigh and he understood, that he just fucked up. Your career, your life. And the solemn idea of you finding out about it, was killing him.
“I understand confidentiality is still a thing up there?” He asked and could hear the man chuckle.
“Don’t worry, Tony.” He turned the phone off and threw it across the room, watching it crack on the wall. He fucked up. Badly.
**
“I see!” You tried to keep your voice as steady as possible, despite the tears appearing in your eyes. “No, no I understand, of course.” The strings of thanks and apologies were thrown and you bit your lip, hoping to end the call ASAP. “Yes, I will!” You lied, when the rector told you to keep on trying. You ended the call and let the tears flow.
It was stupid really. You knew deep down, that you wouldn’t get the job and yet. Yet it still hurt to know you weren’t enough. You wanted to climb the highest of mountains so it should not have surprised you to fall.
“What’s wrong?” You wiped your tears and put your phone away.
“Nothing, Natasha, everything is under control.” You stated, your voice only a bit shaky. You didn’t turn to welcome her. You opened your laptop and started to work.
“Did you go?” She asked, and you rolled your eyes. Can’t you just be left alone?
“Yes” short answers, hoping for her to understand you didn’t want to talk. Especially not with her. Not with the person that pushed you to go. “I’m sorry Natasha, I have lots of work to do.” The woman raised her brows and sighed.
“What happened?”
“I’m just a PA.” You answered after a moment of awkwards silence. “Without much of experience in the field. I’m nothing more than Stark’s PA, who happened to finish MIT.” You shrugged your shoulders and sighed. The tears were back and the screen was starting to get blurry. “At least I don’t have to choose anymore!” You chuckled through the sobs and hid your face in your hands. “I’m sorry. Can you… I did what you told me to. I went and I failed, please can you leave me alone? One time in my damn life I thought I am worth more than I truly am! And I knew that, but then you …!” You got up and looked her in her beautiful eyes. “Do you know why I always hide in that fucking shell of mine, you seem to have such a problem with!?” Widow’s eyes widened at your use of language. She never seen you like that. Never heard you speak so that. That little, quiet mice seemed to have enough. “Because my life taught me, that I will never be more than I am. I was never enough for anyone. My parents, people at school and Uni, my professors, and him… I learned to live with the fact that I am nothing more than a loser, unwanted by anyone. But then you had to make me go and…”
“I’m sorry.” She pulled you for a huge and kissed you at the top of your head. “I just wanted to help. I wanted to see you happy. See you live your own life. I’m sorry, sweety.” She cooed you and you couldn’t help but hug her back, repeating words of apologise into her neck.
*
He closed his eyes hearing your cries. Your tone, the raised voice. He wondered how long were you keeping those feelings inside. It broke his stoned heart to see you, hear you like that, only to know that he was the reason for this. You blamed Nat for it, only because you didn’t know how awful he was. He took a deep breath, and deciding to leave you be, he came back to him room. Hoping Romanoff would help you.
**
“What’s wrong, kiddos?” He announced looking at the Avengers assembling in the kitchen.
“Please stop saying that. There are at least three people here who are older than you.” Clint sighed, playing with his chips.
“What’s up with Lex?” Steve asked with his Captain America voice, glancing at Stark, his guts telling him, the billionaire had something to do with it.
“What do you mean?” He asked, playing stupid. It has been two weeks since the MIT call and Tony hasn’t seen you. He wasn’t sure if you were ignoring him even more than after the Christmas party, or you were just that busy. You did work. Yes, definitely did work. Everything went more smoothly than ever. He noticed because he had more free time. And if he was being honest, he was starting to get bored.
“I haven’t seen her since the party. I thought it was die to the New Year party workload, but then she seemed to disappear even more.”
“Yeah not to mention that I actually miss that big smile on her face, when she sees her favorite Avenger. “Sam chimed in, making Bucky and Nat roll their eyes. “But seriously, should we worry?” Everyone looked at Stark who sighed deeply, taking his cup of coffee with him.
“I’ll talk to her, kids. No worries, daddy will take care of it.”
“I really hate when he says that!” He chuckled, hearing Steve’s disgust in tone.
**
“So she lives!” You jumped at his voice, behind you. It was a middle of the night and you truly hoped he would be sleeping already. Or at least at his room. “Are you making the magical chocolate?”
“Magical chocolate?” You raised your brow at him and he smiled, shrugging his shoulder.
“I never had a better massage than during that hot chocolate night meeting last time.” you blushed and looked away, hearing him chuckle. “Any leftovers?” You nodded and prepared him a cup, pouring the mixture into it, and adding the marshmallows. She put it in front of him and was about to leave, when his fingers circled at your wrists, stopping you. “Sit with me, please.” You bit your lip nervously and obeyed taking the sit opposite. As far as possible. “I have something to tell you and you have to promise me you will listen to everything before you slap me and slap the doors behind you.” You frowned and looked at him. Your heart broken a bit, when you noticed the face he made. He looked like a kicked puppy. Like a little kid that knew he messed up.
“Mr Stark, I don’t…”
“Please… They worry about you. I worry about you. Since that damn stupid Christmas party everything went to hell. I fucked up, you saw it and…
“Listen. When you started working for me I made it clear fuck complete of a mess I was, right?” You raised your brow but nodded, even a small smile appearing on your lips. “I am a messed up person. A guy in his…” He coughed awkwardly. “Well my age doesn't matter here.” You bit your lip not to laugh, which made him smile. “I always got what I wanted. A spoiled, stupid kid, with more money and looks than brain.
“I still don’t know what you see in me.” He smiled at you softly. “I am not stupid, kid. I see the way you look at me. I do. And it flattens me. You are this genuine girl, with kind heart, smart and beautiful in and out and… You are too innocent for me to break you. I am not someone you should fall in love with. Someone who should be your first boyfriend. Your first love in life.”
“Forgive me, but I think I should have a right to decide who I fall in love with…” You bit your lip nervously, staring at the table. You missed the way he smiled softly at that. His look softened and he sighed.
“Of course. But this… This is not the reason why I needed to talk to you…” You nodded, giving him a go to continue. “How was your interview at MIT?” You stiffened and looked at him with big eyes.
“Natasha told you?”
“The rector called.” You swallowed and frowned. “For references…” Something in his tone made you realise where this was going and you felt your heart beat fasten. “I… I’m sorry kid. I-I couldn’t let you go. I needed you. I… fuck I didn’t want to live in a life where you wouldn’t be there to help me. Be there for me and…”
“What did you say, Tony?” If the situation was different he would enjoy the fact that you said his name, but not now, not with the seriousness behind it.
“I said you were a good PA.” The pain in your eyes broke his heart. You opened your eyes to say something, but couldn’t. All this made sense now. The good interview and an awful ending. “Listen… I know you may hate me now…”
“Is this all that I am?” You asked and frowned. “Is this really what you think of me? A good PA?” There was a silence between the two of you. A painful one. For both him and you.
“Of course not. You are so much more.” He tried to hold onto your hand, but you backed away. “You are so smart and incredibly talented. You can do so much more than just this job. I…
“I was afraid that you would leave and I would be alone. And this scared the shit out of me.I can’t imagine you not being here. Not being able to…”
“I quit.” His heart stopped at your proclamation. You stood up, still looking down at the table. Your hands starting to shake with anger, your heart beat fastened and you felt like you were about to cry. “I can’t… You crossed that line…”
“What line?” He asked, looking at you, hoping that whatever you just said was a stupid slip off. “I apologised, damn it!”
“And, what? Everything should be fine now? Because you apologised!?” You shouted, staring at him with your angry expression. “For so many years I hid my anger towards you. I hid it, because I loved you more than I was angry at you.” His eyes widened. He expected your feelings, but hearing them was a totally different aspect. “But this? You ruined my future, my dreams because you are a selfish bastard!” You pushed your hands away from him to make sure you wouldn’t punch him.
“I told you I was afraid…”
“Yes!” You shouted, tears streaming down your cheeks. “You were afraid. You didn’t stop for a second to even consider how I was feeling. You knew… I told you so many times before about my dreams. About my insecurities about them, and yet you used them against me. You used that biggest doubt and used it for your own good! It shouldn’t surprise me, not should it hurt. But yet here I am, with my heart broken. Because I was so close in burying that dream, only to make you happy. To stay by your side, because helping you was more important for me than pursuing my own dreams!” You shook your head and clenched your fingers. “I went for that damn interview, because Natasha made me. She told me I hiding behind you, afraid to take a step forward. But it wasn’t it. I was just trying to protect you. Make you happy. And what do I get in return? you betrayed me, Tony. The one person I thought I could trust, the one person who I thought new about my insecurities. The one man I was able to trust and love in my stupid life, used me, because his needs were more important than what I’d want.” You wiped your eyes and turned around. “I will send you an email with PA that would gladly take my place.”
“I don’t want them!” he shouted, getting up to get closer to you. “I don’t want anyone, but you. I know! Fuck, I know i made a mistake. I know I was selfish, but please… one more time. Give me a chance to prove myself. To show you I am not a dick! Please! I won’t survive without you. I need you. I…”
“No Tony... “ You smiled sadly and took a step away from him. “You don’t need me. You need the idea of me. You need a person who would follow your every step, Who would do your job without saying a word. Who would follow you like a lost puppy. A part of me always thought you gave me this job due to my powers, but that it wasn’t it. You just needed someone who would adore you the same way you adore yourself. But I had enough.”
“I thought you love me!” He hissed at you, when you were almost at the corridor. “Was that a lie?” Not able to control yourself you laughed through tears. You turned around, walked towards him and slapped him across the face.
“Don’t you ever dare to say that! i loved you for so long. I loved you when you brought all those women here. I loved you when you shouted at me and made me feel like I was nothing. I loved you when you were away to those damn missions. i loved you while I was healing you and I loved you when you pushed your tongue in that blonde’s mouth.” He flinched, remembering the Christmas party. “I loved you despite hurting. I loved you so much that I decided to stay by your side for so long, despite being unwanted. I knew… I knew how absurd those feelings were. I knew someone like you, who has everything, would never fall in love with me. And you made that completely clear at the party. You gave a little hope, and then crushed it. But not anymore Tony. I have had enough and before it escalates I need to leave.”
“You won’t get any opinion from me. You won’t get a job anywhere in the industry” He shouted. He hated himself when those words left his lips. He hated the look you gave him. He wanted to apologize and say that this was bullshit. He wanted you to stay. But he knew, there was no way. No way for you to forgive him. Not anymore.
“Yeah. Thanks, Mr Stark. It was a pleasure to work for you!”
***
He watched you smile at the kid, who giggled at your adorable, funny face. She was crying and you did everything you could to stop her from crying, while her mom went to the bathroom. He didn’t know how good you were with kids. He never seen you with any. He watched you give her a chocolate cookie, which had probably brighten her day. And he watched when you smiled at the woman, who was probably thanking you for taking care of the little girl.
He looked at the place and sighed. This was not something you dreamed of. It was an MIT nor a technological industry. When you left for real, leaving him with a three page long email with names of the best PAs in the country, he called every big business, including MIT, giving them the best references he could give. His heart broken even more, when the MIT’s HR called and told him that you have declined their job offer. You hated him and he hated himself.
He knew Natasha talked to you from time to time. Clint and Steve came here for your coffee and “The best apple pie’ in Boston. They took that extra way to see you at least once in three months. Bruce send you emails regarding some new tech Avengers were using and you answered him with possible ideas of how to make them better.
You still loved that world. He could see it and hear how you missed that and the Avengers. he was able to see through Jarvis’ system, that you connected to talk to him. You kept in touch with everyone, even a stupid AI, and not him. You left the next day. Your bags were gone, room cleaned up and only an email waiting for him.
Mr Stark.
According to our contract I should be giving you a two weeks notice of my leaving, however, due to my unused vacation days, I am taking them and I quit immediately from today. As I promised, you can find attached the list of the best PA in this country. I made you all of your business had been taken care of.
I would greatly appreciate if you didn’t try to get in touch with me in any ways. I am planning on starting a new life. I hope our paths won’t have to cross in the future and....
I wish you well, Tony. I really do. When I think about it, it was me who was an idiot. It was me who fallen in love with someone who could only love himself. I was the idiot one. So yes. I do wish you all the best Tony.
Love,
Lex
He hated and loved this email. It was the last thing from you. He didn’t contact you, didn’t try to find you. You deserved it. After everything he’s done for you, you deserved freedom from him. Away from his selfish ass.
He was able to keep that promise for two years. Two years of his teammates talking about your new coffee place, your new flat in Boston and a boyfriend you broke up with two months ago. They tried to stay quiet when he walked in but he was still able to hear them. They loved and cared about you. And who was he to neglect that.
But two years were enough. He had enough and he decided to be selfish this one time. One more time. Come here see you and if you give him a chance, apologise.
“Iron Man!” He froze hearing a boy shouting from the inside of the coffee place. He noticed your frozen figure and he wanted to run away. He was actually very close in just walking away, when you turned around and he felt his heart stopping. You became so beautiful. You have lost some weight, your hair gotten longer at those eyes. Those beautiful eyes were still so mesmerizing. “Mommy, It’s Tony Stark!”
You watched with disbelief at the man outside of your coffee place. You followed his every move, when he walked in, and smiled at the boy, taking some pictures with him and signing his cap. You scanned him and something you hoped died a long time ago, came back to life. The butterflies were back. You closed your eyes and turned around, pretending like you were focused on cleaning the coffee machine. Anything not to look at him. not to focus on those beautiful face, and charming smile.
“Lex”, you flinched at his quiet, almost scared whisper. He walked closer and you were afraid to turn around. “Ma’am can i order?” You rolled your eyes. You couldn’t just say no. It was possible that it was a coincidence. Maybe he came here for business and… No! It was Tony Stark, nothing was just ‘lucky’ for him.
“Of course, sir. What would you like?” You turned around and tried to give him your most natural, customer service smile.
“How about that chocolate you used to make and 10 minutes of your time.” You bit your lips and took a deep breath.
“We have three types of chocolate, Sir. What is it you want? White, milk or dark?”
“Lex, please!” He whispered, his hands travelled to cup yours, but you took a step away from the counter. He closed his eyes and looked around. “Can we please talk when you close? Please?” It wasn’t often that Tony Stark was begging and the mean part, which hated him, was happy to see him in emotional pain. But the part that still loved him felt sorry for him. And so you agreed, telling him you were closing in three hours. He ordered a dark chocolate and an apple pie and sat at the corner of the place, patiently waiting.
*
“I told you not to contact me!” You hissed, when the last customer left the place. You turned around and gave him your angry look. “One thing I asked of you! Damn it, Stark!”
“Two years… Come on, Lex. It’s been two years I missed you.” He sounded and looked so small. He looked like he wanted to cry and run away as quickly as possible. Like coming here was the biggest mistake of his life. “I… Fuck… Can we sit down?” You crossed your hands on your chest and he sighed. “I never apologised.” You frowned at him and smiled at you. A small, unsure smile. “I never said what I truly wanted to say to you that day. So if you give me ten minutes, I will tell you. 10 minutes and maybe one more of your chocolate?”
“I turned off the machine.” You stated, making him swallow hard at your tone.
“Sure. Yeah.” He took a deep breath and sat down on one of the stools. “I was the biggest asshole in the Universe, but I was afraid. I was afraid that the only person I truly trusted and loved would leave me. Like my mom did. I was a mess when she died. She was the only one that really knew me, the same as you. But she had to be there for me, she needed to love me, because I was her child. Her only son. You didn’t have to and yet you still did. And it scared me, because I didn’t understand why someone like you would ever love me. So when I heard you went for a job interview I got scared, that I will lose you. Yes I was a selfish prick and if I could turn back time I would, trust me.
“All those things you said to me that day were true. And I just wish you would have told me them sooner, I would have the opportunity to work on myself not to lose you. I wanted to stop you and so out of fear I did something I was only good at. I pushed you away. Even more. When I heard you took down proposition from MIT I knew I fucked up.”
“I felt like I would owe you something and I didn’t want that.” He nodded and hid his face in his his hands.
“I fucked up big times. The worst thing was not because I tried to hurt you, but because I tried to not feel pain myself. I was selfish. Hell, I am still selfish for coming here.” You raised your brow but let him continue. You heart slowly melting at his words. You never stopped loving him and this all was not making it easier to forget about him. “I know those words mean nothing to you now. But I love you and I miss you. What I wouldn’t give to have you back in my life. Even if only as a friend. I am not afraid to say that I love you. And I need you. And not the idea of you, but you. That selfless, kind hearted woman, with the most beautiful eyes I have ever seen. I want and need you. With me in my life, in NY. I know you have your life here in Boston, but… I just want you to know that.”
“It took you hell of a lot of time, Stark.” He looked up and frowned seeing a little smile on your lips. “I guess I lost a bet with Nat.”
“A bet?”
“Yeah”, you shrugged and chuckled. “I believed you’d forget about me and never come to see me, and well, Nat was sure you’d come to find me in the first three years I was away.”
“Yeah. She’s scary. I think it’s a Russian thing.” He rolled his eyes dramatically and you chuckled. “You’re not mad at me anymore?”
“Oh, I hate you, don’t get me wrong!” He opened his mouth to say something, but was smart enough not to. “But I still love you and people say love is stronger than hate.” He was looking at you with those big puppy, brown eyes. “But I want to start over. Be your friend. Get to know Tony Stark, and…”
“And? I will give you anything you want, Lex!” He took a step closer and took your hands in his. This time you didn’t pull away.
“That place on Brooklyn. There used to be a pancake place, but now it's free and no one bought it. I want it.” He looked at you and chuckled. Pulling you closer, he kissed the top of your head.
“Sure thing, sweetheart. It’s all yours. So am I.”
#tony stark#tony stark x oc#tony stark x reader#tony stark x you#PA#Avengers#Happy Ending#angst#Iron Man#Tony Stark fanfiction
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Sexagesima Sunday - February 7, 2021 - Latin Calendar
The second Sunday of the Septuagesima season is known as “Sexagesima, which means “sixty”. Sexagesima Sunday comes roughly sixty days before Easter. Throughout this short Season and that of Lent (next Season) you will notice a deepening sense of penance and somberness, culminating in Passiontide (the last two weeks of Lent), that will suddenly and joyously end at the Vigil of Easter on Holy Saturday when the alleluia returns and Christ’s Body is restored and glorified.
Sermon for Children’s Mass: Sexagesima Sunday
by Fr. Raphael Frassinetti, 1900
Gospel. Luke viii. 4 – 15. At that time: When a very great multitude was gathered together and hastened out of the cities unto him, he spoke by a similitude: The sower went out to sow his seed: and as he sowed, some fell by the wayside and was trodden down, and the fowls of the air devoured it. And other some fell upon a rock: and as soon as it was sprung up, it withered away, because it had no moisture. And other some fell among thorns, and the thorns growing up with it, choked it. And other some fell upon good ground: and being sprung up, yielded fruit a hundred fold. Saying these things, he cried out: He that hath ears to hear, let him hear. And his disciples asked him what this parable might be. To whom he said: To you it is given to know the mystery of the kingdom of God, but to the rest in parables, that seeing they may not see, and hearing may not understand. Now the parable is this: The seed is the word of God. And they by the wayside, are they that hear: then the devil cometh, and taketh the word out of their heart, lest believing they should be saved. Now they upon the rock, are they who when they hear, receive the word with joy: and these have no roots: for they believe for a while, and in time of temptation, they fall away. And that which fell among thorns, are they who have heard, and going their way, are choked with the cares and riches and pleasures of this life, and yield no fruit. But that on the good ground: are they who in a good and very good heart, hearing the word, keep it, and bring forth fruit in patience.
THE SEED OF THE WORD OF GOD THAT FALLS BY THE WAYSIDE, ON THE ROCKS, AMONG THORNS, OR UPON GOOD GROUND
It is hardly necessary to explain this Gospel, for Our Lord Himself gave the explanation of it by His own mouth. Let me ask you what kind of hearts you possess, what good do you derive from the frequent hearing of the word of God? Let me ask you if the ground is hard and trodden down where the seed falls; is it at once carried away by the devil, or is it rocky soil where it cannot take root? You hear the word of God, but does it grow up within you? Do you become more pious, more attentive, and reverent in God’s house? You hear the word of God, but do you observe the feasts of the Church with more devotion; do you go more frequently to the sacraments? You hear the word of God, but do you avoid bad companions, who lead you into sin? You hear the word of God, but do you give good example to your companions; or are you not, by your bad deeds and your wicked words, a rock of scandal to those who come near you?
Too often it happens that those who have all the advantages of good advice and example are still wicked themselves and make others so. This is a great source of sorrow to the priest who sows the seed of God with such assiduity, with much labor and solicitude. “Give an occasion to a wise man, and wisdom shall be added to him. Teach a just man, and he shall make haste to receive it.” But it is not so with the bad, who wish to continue in their evil ways; you may preach to them in vain, you may pray for them with many groans and tears; all is useless. You may represent to them the enormity of their sins, the scandal they are giving, and the imminent danger of eternal perdition in which they live, but all is in vain. You will not be able to make them say their prayers morning and night, they will not go to confession, they will not even say a Hail Mary in the day. If you tell them they should pray in temptation, that they should call on Jesus and Mary, they only laugh at you.
Heavenly wisdom will not enter a wicked soul, the hearts of such become harder and more obstinate, they are disgusted with the word of God. Is the number of these few, do you think? No, indeed. Go to church on Sundays and holydays; you will see that what I say is true. The streets, the public places, the saloons, are full of people, but few are found in the churches. This is the greatest punishment that God can send us, to let us go on in this disgust of His holy word. You should not belong to this class. You have religious training enough to know better. Do not imitate so many who never give themselves time to hear the word of God, though they have time enough to go to bad places and to immoral plays where the soul is ruined. Never do the like; remember that those who do not like to hear the word of God, have already the mark of damnation on their foreheads. Listen then gladly, for it will be your salvation. St. Bernard says that there is no surer sign of eternal damnation than to despise the word of God. Yes, my good young people, put aside all fear of hell provided you keep in your hearts the love of the word of God.
Here is a beautiful example of the holy virgin Scholastica which is found in the breviary. This holy virgin consecrated herself to God from her earliest childhood. Nothing delighted her more than to hear of God, or to speak of Him to others. At one time, as was her custom every year, she went to visit her saintly brother Benedict, who came out of his monastery to meet her, for women were not allowed within the men’s cloister. They had their supper together in the evening, after having passed the day in conversation about God. When Scholastica saw that the hour was getting late, she said to her brother: “You might do me the favor of staying with me overnight, that we may talk of the goodness of God, for it is now a late hour.” He answered, “I cannot do this, my sister; it is not allowed for a monk to remain outside of his cell during the night.” When Scholastica had heard this she was grieved, but she buried her face in her hands and began to pray. All at once a terrible storm broke out, with thunder and lightning, and the rain fell in torrents. St. Benedict knew that his sister had prayed for this. “What have you done, sister dear? You have prayed to keep me out of the monastery. May God forgive you.” The holy virgin with a bright smile answered: “I asked you to stay, but you would not listen; I asked my God, and no sooner had I made the petition than He listened to me. The sky, as you saw, was clear, but no sooner did I pray than the storm broke out.” St. Benedict was obliged to remain in the company of his sister, and spent the remainder of the night in prayer and pious reading. In the morning St. Benedict went back to his monastery and Scholastica returned to her home. Three days after, the holy monk raising his eyes, saw the spirit of his sister carried to heaven by the angels with great joy and festive song.
You, O good youth, who like to talk of God, console yourselves for the pretended loss of much pleasure in the conversations of the world, for you are of the number of the elect. They who are of God hear the word of God.
Let me beg of you, since it is in your power, to be always the good soil which receives gladly the seed of the word of God and so yields a hundred-fold. Let us not grow tired in doing good. Many young people indeed begin well; they are good, obedient, and respectful to grown people; they have faith; they love the Church and the sacraments, but when they grow older somehow they lose their piety. We find them in bad company, idle, beginning to drink, hangers-on at pool-rooms and gambling-places, and they avoid going to church. They go from bad to worse until they are ready for any deed of wickedness.
O, indeed, young men, if you did well you would have joy in this life, you would have the peace of God about you, that peace which the world cannot give, that peace which surpasseth all understanding. What great consolation will you feel at the hour of death when you shall see reserved for your glory and collected for your benefit all the good you have done in this life! The wicked will go to their graves with great show and pomp, but they are indeed poor before the throne of God, who rejects them, and sends them into exterior darkness. But to the good youth He will say, “Well done, thou good and faithful servant, enter into the joy of the Lord,” and then He will show him His beautiful home where He is to reign with God for all eternity.
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Only Happy Accidents (four)
Summary: YN and Steve spend their first Christmas together, and YN and Steve go to a New Years Eve party at the Tower the days she hits three months. YN also meets her hero, Pepper Potts and her daughter, Morgan Stark. YN and Steve have a Moment as the ball drops.
Songs: “Winter Song”- Sara Bareilles / “You Matter To Me”- Sara Bareilles, Jason Mraz / Songs: “What’s Inside”- Sara Bareilles / “Out of the Woods”- Taylor Swift / “My, My, My”- Troye Sivan
Masterlist
_____________________
December 25th / 7th Week
The snow on the windowsill was fluffy and white and fresh, untouched by the dirt of the street or footprints fo the people who had to trudge their way to work on Christmas Day. YN spelt soundly under her pile of blankets in a sea of pillows, hand under her cheek and pink rays of the first light illuminating her form.
Steve Rogers looked in on her, a flutter in his heart and stomach making the tray of hot food tremble in his hands. He had learned how to cook during the snap— less people meant less crime and the crime that did seem threatening had been taken out by Clint. So, Steve cooked. He provided for Natasha, mostly, and slowly she gained her weight back and her hair grew healthy and her eyes seemed less set in her skull.
By the time everyone came back, Steve could cook a whole cookbook of good meals that made Natasha actually dance in her seat, and another cookbook of food that she would nod to.
Todays breakfast was nothing special. Two waffles with fruit and whipped cream (in the shape of a smiley face, obviously)— a homage to their first morning together. Coffee— the one half cup YN limited herself to and the one half cup he drank for support. He never used to like the taste of it, but for her he found himself doing more things for her and he found himself looking forward to the cup in the morning. Her vitamins and medication— a colourful cup of candy.
He set the tray on her still-empty bedside table, and sat on the bed, hand falling on her shoulder and shaking her gently.
“YN” He whispered and she moaned, cuddling harder into the blankets and wrinkling her nose as she did so.
“Waffles are gonna get cold, YN.” He whispered and she cracked one bleary eye open at him, smirking and closing her eyes again.
“The waffles did get cold. That’s how we got here in the first place, Rogers.” She mumbled and he chuckled, nudging her again and making her reach up, the blanket falling away from her chin and neck to reveal a Captain America vintage comic book t-shirt that seemed to be three sizes too big for her.
“Really?” He smiled and she winked, pulling herself to sit up and frowning, hand falling to her stomach. “You okay?”
“Morning sickness, obviously. Always sickness, honestly— your super-sperm means super-symptoms.” She replied and he fake gagged, making her giggle.
“I hate when you call it that.” He sighed and handed her her pills, watching as she swallowed them all with the bottle of water on the blanket beside her.
“It’s true. I really appreciate this whole thing, but I don’t think I can stomach more than that coffee, this morning, I’m sorry.” She frowned and he shrugged as if it were nothing. He reached over to the separate waffles and flipped one over onto the other, making a sandwich and nodding.
“Done.” He smiled when she laughed loudly.
“You’re the cutest.” She joked and scooted over, patting the place where she was sitting. Hesitantly, hoping to not cross any unspoken boundaries, he sat against the headboard beside her. “Good thing too, cause I haven’t seen the sunrise for the past two months for a reason.”
“Well, it is Christmas Day.” He sighed, lolling his head to look at her and she rolled her eyes.
“We promised each other we wouldn’t get each other anything.” She pointed out and he shook his head, digging into his sweatpants pocket and pulling out a long necklace box, handing it to her.
“You said that, I made no such promise.” He replied, She took it shakily, slowly opening it and gasping. She pulled the necklace from the box and held it up. It was a heart locket with a single diamond on it, and it glinted pink in the ever-brightening sun.
“Steve,” She breathed and he nodded.
“Open it.”
When she did, she had to squint to decipher that was on it, but when she did her eyes welled with tears. It was a small picture of their first ultrasound on one side, and the other side was empty.
“For our wedding picture.” He answered and she sniffed, wiping her nose hard.
“Fuck, Steve. This is— this is perfect. I didn’t get you anything, though I’m sorry—“
“You got me you. You got me him,” He said, pointing at her belly. “You got me a family, YN and that’s the greatest gift you could have ever given me.” He said simply, and she let out a wet sob, leaning her head on his shoulder and bringing the locket to her lips.
“You’re the biggest, dorkiest cheeseball in the world, Steve Rogers.”
“And you got me until you don’t want me anymore, YN.” He whispered and she wrapped her arms around his bicep, hugging him to her and curling around him.
“Same here, buddy.” She mumbled, and he gasped quietly in shock.
“Did you just buddy-zone me?”
“No.”
There was a pause in the conversation and YN breathed in deeply, sitting up and turning her back to him and lifting her hair, passing him the locket.
“It’s only fitting you put it on me, you know.” She whispered and he moved to kneel behind her, hands suddenly too-hot and shaking with nerves. He took the delicate necklace in his huge hands and clasped it, quickly. Before he could think twice about it, he ducked forward and planted his lips against the back of her neck. It was a brief kiss, nothing more than a ghost of one, actually, but he could hear her heart triple in pace and her breath catch in her throat.
“I told you, I’m not going anywhere.” He whispered and she shivered, letting her hair down and turning to him.
“You should eat, Steve.” She breathed, looking down at his lips and shaking her head, turning away and reaching to grab her laptop. “‘Cause after you’re done we’re only watching good Christmas movies until we both fall asleep or this kid makes me vomit.” She stated, voice stiffly excited.
“ELF?” He asked, reaching for the food and taking a bite of his waffle sandwich.
“Have you ever seen ELF?”
“No?”
“If anyone ever tells you that ELF is their favourite Christmas movie, run in the other direction. Run, very fast.”
__________________
December 31st 9:30 / 8th Week
YN really didn’t want to be at this party. There were too many people fawning over her and Steve and standing too close to them and offering her too many drinks she had to say ‘no’ to. Steve was ansty as well, pulling her to his side when reporters got too close and when he felt YN was in danger— which, since she and he had moved in together was all the time they were out of the house.
Her boobs were horrendously sore and she had thrown up three times today, cried twice as much. Pregnancy had been miserable so far, and honestly, YN had no idea how mothers did it alone. Alone, and not with a man who made her coffee the way she liked in the morning. Not with a man who made sure she was wearing two jackets and bought her new mugs and other knick knacks that were slowly filling up their apartment. How did women do it without someone who wouldn’t watch Jurassic Park with them because it was the only movie that settled her stomach.
She liked Steve. More than she probably should have by this point. I mean, granted, she was carrying his love child and he /did/ kiss the back of her neck when he gave her that locket on Christmas Morning.
She liked Steve the proper amount. Which was a lot.
They walked to the top floor of the tower which used to be Stark tower, having been rented out by Tony Stark every New Years Eve for the next fifty years even if he didn’t make it fifty years. This floor was quieter, the lights glimmering off of YN’s dress (bought by Natasha with Steve’s card as an ‘I’m sorry for judging you, here’s my number and I also have a wedding Pinterest board already’ gift. It was a good one— the measurements were perfect and the length was perfect, and somehow it made the dress even better when Steve’s jaw dropped when she walked out of her bedroom.
His hand seemed glued to the small of her back, coasting her expertly through nosey reporters and new recruits trying to get close to the man who used to be Captain America. Eventually they made it to the VIP section and somehow, YN didn’t mind the reporters all hat much.
Natasha Romanoff was there, wearing a long black dress that dragged across the floor as she walked from the bar and to the spot on the couch beside Bucky Barnes. His blood red suit jacket was slung lazily over the back of the couch, his black button up and matching blood red pants seemed strained over his muscles. Both Natasha and Bucky seemed regal and so very much in love.
Sam Wilson was wearing a classic blue suit and was talking animately to James Rhodes. Scott Lang was there with his family, and YN was sure it was his idea to wear matching sweaters with his daughter and the woman she assumed to be Hope Van Dyne.
Wanda Maximoff was wearing a white dress with a plunging neckline, her new blonde hair glinting healthily under the lights. Stephen Strange and Clint Barton were walking with her, wearing classic black.
Next, YN stumbled over her heels when she saw her, was Pepper Stark and Morgan Stark. Pepper, wearing gold, Morgan, wearing something similar but closely resembling something a Disney princess would wear.
“Steve.” YN gasped, grabbing his hand and holding tightly. Steve looked down at her, brows furrowing and looking briefly at her stomach before stopping.
“You okay? Do we need to find a bathroom? I know you’ve had a bad day, so—“
“No. Everyone is here. Pepper Stark is here. Natasha and Bucky and Sam and oh, god what if they still don’t like me.” She gasped, looking up at Steve with wide, scared eyes. He pulled them behind a pillar quickly, as to hide them from the party and he pushed her hair over her shoulder, trailing his hand down her arm and grabbing her other hand gently while he encouraged her to breathe.
“We can go home if you need,” He said, and she shook her head.
“No, I’m good. These are your people.” She tried to hype herself up and he shook his head with a small smile on his face.
“You’re my people.” He whispered just loud enough over the people and the music and making YN’s heart rate tumble the way Steve liked. “My world revolves around you, YN. We can leave if you’re not comfortable.”
“I adore you, Rogers. But no we’re here, and I’m wearing a dress with a price tag the made me vomit and I’m pretty sure Bucky saw us, anyways.” She shrugged and he nodded.
“Probably.”
So they asked out from behind the pillar, and YN immediately met Natasha’s eyes. She expected a lot of scenarios to play out in her head, but none of them included Natasha rising from her place under Bucky’s arm and walking to the roped-off entrance.
“YN. Steve. We weren’t sure if you were going to show up.” She smiled, unhooking the rope and waiting for them to enter before leading them to the couch set where everyone was at. Bucky didn’t stand at the sight of YN, but reached forward to shake Steve’s hand in that bro-way guys do and nodded politely at YN who offered a small, shy smile and hide slightly behind Steve’s arm.
“Hey!” Sam crowed from across the room, sauntering over to Steve and pulling him into a hug before turning to YN and doing the same, kissing her temple and smiling. “I just wanted to say we’re all really sorry for how we acted the other day. Again.”
YN smiled and nodded, putting her hand on Sam’s arm and squeezing.
“I get it, and it’s okay. Steve’s been all of your person and all of a sudden this stranger shows up claiming that she’s pregnant with his kid? It’s very Gossip Girl of me.” She joked, hoping to all the Gods that the joke would land.
And it did, not only to Sam who roared with laughter but also Bucky Barnes who chuckled loud enough over the music.
“Very Georgina Sparks of you, yeah.” Bucky said, smiling softly at YN who blushed and looked at her hand.
“Except I don’t /get enough/ to doubt that it’s this guy’s kid.” She nodded to Steve who looked wholly lost. Bucky smiled and shook his head, taking a sip of his drink and nodding towards the couch.
“Sit. I’d offer you a drink, but—“
“Appreciated.” She smiled.
Natasha watched the exchange fondly. Bucky had come a long way in letting people in, and this one was huge. It was something out of the blue, and Steve wasn’t someone who struggled with money anymore. She knew too, that Bucky (still smaller than Steve) still saw Steve as that skinny kid with a medical list of illness longer than a CVS receipt.
Natasha was happy Bucky invited her to sit considering the way Steve was staring at YN like she had turned his world around in the best way. YN’s shimmering red dress was the perfect choice— simple a-line with matching heels. Gold accessories. Her phone in the dress pocket and wallet in Steve’s back pocket.
One of Natasha Romanoff’s best qualities was her ability to micromanage.
_________________________
December 31st, 10:18 / 8th Week
“And, this is Pepper Stark and her daughter Morgan Stark.” Steve introduced, and YN offered a slightly shaking hand. Pepper Potts was known for being a boss and an inspiration to millions of women across the world, so the fact that YN was meeting one of her heroes had her beside herself.
“I’m YN. YN YLN.” She rushed, still shaking her hand. Realising she was shaking it too long, she dropped it and wrung her hands nervously. “I’m sorry for freaking out, but you’re a huge inspiration for me and my friends, Ms. Stark. The things you’ve done with Stark Industries and your own business and the way you speak out without fear but remain so elegant is really awesome.” She rambled, and Peppers smile grew the more she spoke.
“Well, I’m happy to finally meet you, actually. I’ve heard a lot about you from Steve recently and he speaks a lot to your kindness.” She smiled and YN felt faint at her words. “Also, you’ve done wonderfully at keeping him under control. He hasn’t made anyone cry this month which is less of a headache for me.” She joked and Steve coughed awkwardly. YN paid no mind to him and continued to look at Pepper with shining eyes.
“It’s truly an honour to meet you, Ms. Stark.” She continued, trying to cement this moment in her mind for the rest of forever. Maybe she could get the AI to record the conversation and she could tattoo it on her back.
“Pepper.” She replied and YN blinked stupidly.
“Huh?”
“Call me Pepper. You’re family as far as I know, so please call me Pepper.” And YN beamed, grabbing Steve’s hand behind her and squeezing hard enough for him to wince slightly.
“Pepper. I can do that.” She blinked eagerly. She hadn’t even noticed the bundle of golden tulle clutching Peppers leg until it moved behind her slightly. YN looked down into the wide brown eyes of Morgan Stark and without any hesitation, YN squat down to her level and held out her hand.
“Wow,” She started. “I’ve never met a princess, before.”
Morgan hid more behind Peppers leg, and YN remained— her hand held out politely and patiently.
“You know, you remind me so much of Belle. I bet you like reading books, huh?” She asked and Morgans stoic face melted a little, nodding with a breath of a smile.
“What’s your favourite book?” She asked, dropping her hand to her lap as she rolled onto her knees and sat back on her heels. Steve looked down at this beautiful woman below him in wonder. Of course she would be good with shy kids. Of course it made his heart swell three times its usual size.
“I like Narnia.” She mumbled and YN’s face broke out into the widest smile.
“No. Way. Narnia’s my favourite series! My favourite character is Lucy.” She whispered as if it was the worlds best kept secret. Morgan smiled and came out from behind Peppers hip.
“I like Aslan. He’s really smart. And he’s a lion and they’re my favourite animal.” She said, and YN dropped her mouth wide open in surprise.
“Did you know that I’ve held a baby lion before?” She asked Morgan and Morgan’s eyes widened beyond normal size. YN nodded and pulled out her phone flipping through her phone albums and showing Morgan a picture of her with a lion cub she had helped raise when she spent a summer volunteering in Africa as a part of her Anthropology practicum.
“Her name was Malaika, which means ‘Angel’ in Swahili.”
“Do you know what Nala means?” Morgans eyes were wide as she looked up from the picture and to YN. YN’s answer seemed far away from Steve— the words falling deaf on his ears, as he had just been hit hard with a realization.
This was the mother of his child. This was someone who he was going to be spending the rest of his life with and she was on her knees in a dress that cost more than the rent she used to pay just so she could make one fo the most famous children in the world feel comfortable enough to talk about their mutual favourite animal. This was the mother of his children, and God, if he didn’t want to have so many with her so long as they brought the same smile to her face that Morgan Stark was wearing right now.
_________________________
December 31st, 11:56 / 8th Week
“Guys! Four minutes!” Someone cried, and YN’s heart dropped as everyone got up to leave—she had actually been enjoying seeing Steve in his natural environment. He was more animated, talked more with his hands, swore more. It was nice to see that Bucky did actually have a full smile and that Sam couldn’t dance to save his life. It was nice to hear Natasha’s full laugh— something that came out after three dry margaritas.
Steve stood quickly, standing in front of YN and holding his hand out. His smile was soft, but true and she grabbed his hands and stood, letting him lead her to the balcony where everyone else was heading. They found a spot by the rail, and Steve didn’t even hesitate before taking his suit jacket and throwing it over YN’s shoulders.
“You’ll get cold.” She protested and he smiled, Shang his head.
“I run warm. You complain about it in your sleep when we watch Jurassic Park for the third time in a day.” He teased and she rolled her eyes, leaning over the railing and looking over the city lights. “Have you ever seen fireworks from this high up before?”
She shook her head. “No, but I have seen it on the rooftop of Earls three years in a row, so that counts, right?” She joked and he bumped her shoulder.
“Second prettiest thing I’ve ever seen.” He commented and she blushed under his gaze.
“Cheeseball.”
He hummed and leaned into her, listening to everyone around them start counting down from thirty.
“You know, this time next year, we’re going to have a son.” He whispered into her ear and she smiled— a great beaming thing that took his breath away. He grabbed her chin between two fingers and she looked up to him easily, both still leaning against the railing.
“I’m gonna kiss you.” He whispered and her mouth opened to allow her tongue to moisten her suddenly dry lips. “Say no if you’re not okay with it.”
“I’m not gonna say it.” She replied, and he swallowed thickly.
Ten.
His eyes flickered down to her parted lips.
Nine.
She stood fully, and Steve did too.
Eight.
Her hands slid up from his stomach to his shoulders, her grip gentle, but firm.
Seven.
His hands landed on the curve of her waist under his jacket, thumbing patterns on the smooth fabric and pulling her closer.
Six.
Her hand cupped the back of his neck, scratching the nape of his neck and making his eyes flutter.
Five.
He stepped closer, and the toes of his boots nudged the toes of her heels.
Four.
His eyes were locked on her lips, angled to meet his.
Three.
“Steve,” a whisper as his hand cradled her cheek, anchoring her to him.
Two.
“YN.” He replied, ducking his head and brushing his nose against hers.
One.
His lips moulded to hers, moving slowly, working her own into a soft dough. She stepped closer and pulled his neck closer, kissing him deeper and making his heart stutter. She tilted her head barely, and moved her lips against his a little more passionately and he responded in kind, wrapping his arm tight around her waist and pressing her into him as if he wanted to do nothing else in the world. Her arms wrapped around his neck as her lips parted and his tongue darted out experimentally, slightly braver when he felt her shudder under him. Her tongue met his, tasting in earnest when a moan rumbled low in his chest just for her to hear. All YN could think of was SteveSteveSteveSteve, and she could taste his toothpaste and the champagne he had a few minutes ago, and the warmth of his tongue against hers.
It was only when YN had begun to get lightheaded that she slowed down, eventually pulling away and dropping from the very tips of her toes. Her hands were still clasped behind his back and his hands were still at their place on her waist, still pulling her close. His jacket had fallen to the ground during their kiss but YN felt fully and truly warm for the first time since Halloween.
“That was overdue.” She whispered and he laughed, kissing her through his smile one, twice, three times before rising to his full height.
“Yeah, yeah it was.” He murmured, pressing his forehead against hers again as the boom of fireworks echoed in their chest.
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Tag List (send me an ask, ONLY. must interact with the fic more than a like): yesfanficsaremylife / notyourtypicalrose / laurxn-robinson / disaster-rose / lille-kattunge / wwecrazed2010 / vxidnik / chewingoffmyfoot / vitamingrant / captainamericasbeard / chrisgalore / songforhema / mmyepic / multifandommandy / tommyhoe / lostdarksoul6 / crist1216 / taeeemin / jaqui-has-a-conspiracy-theory / feelmyroarrrr / teller258316 / mrsdeanwinchester19 / qrangr / mariswritingforfun / nerdypinupcrystal / kittycatlover18
#Steve Rogers#steve rogers au#steve rogers smut#steve rogers soulmate#steve rogers series#Steve Rogers smut#steve rogers fic#steve rogers fanfiction#steve rogers fluff#steve rogers fanfiction#Steve Rogers fic#steve rogers x reader#steve rogers x you#steve rogers x y/n#Dad!Steve#dad!steve rogers#steve rogers imagine
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my pointless gatsby essay
a few days ago i mentioned that i was reading the great gatsby for class and that i wrote a paper on nick’s sexuality. some of you expressed interest in reading it, so now that i’ve finished reading the book and added in some feelings about the ending, i’m posting it so you all can read!
a couple things: i literally wrote this for no reason. we had assignments similar to these for another book we read where i just wrote my opinions about one particularly stupid part of the book, and i wanted to it here so i just...did. if it makes the experience more hysterical for you, you should know that i let my teacher read this, and she read the beginning in the middle of my class (without my knowledge) yesterday and then i do not think she read any more. she agreed with me, though, so it’s a win.
also, i actually honestly think nick is just gay, but the argument i made here is that he was bisexual because a) i was only about halfway through the book when i wrote the majority of this and at that time he seemed to be quite into jordan, and b) i really did not feel like trying to defend the point that he was not at all into women. you’ll be able to tell when you push ‘read more’ that i definitely had enough to say without that. it’s a solid 1250 words. have fun.
The day I finished reading Chapter 3 of The Great Gatsby, I took to Google in search of reassurance that other people were asking the same question I was. It became clear to me that I was not alone when I typed in “Is Nick fr,” and there it was: “Is Nick from Gatsby gay?” The answer is...complicated. Although he begins dating Jordan Baker midway through the book, there is still widespread confusion surrounding Nick’s sexuality. Why, you might ask? He’s got a girlfriend--end of story. Right? Wrong. Although life would be a heck of a lot easier if it did, human sexuality doesn’t work like that, so here we are. The fact of the matter is that Nick is a heavily closeted bisexual, and he is being absolutely used by Gatsby for that.
There are a few non-Gatsby-related clues that Nick is bisexual. For starters, he introduces each new character, male or female, with intricate and often physical detail. He narrates effectively about the physicality of characters regardless of their gender; for example, this description of Tom:
“Not even the effeminate swank of his riding clothes could hide the enormous power of that body--he seemed to fill those glistening boots until he strained the top lacing and you could see a great pack of muscle shifting when his shoulder moved under his thin coat. It was a body capable of enormous leverage--a cruel body.”
This quote, quite frankly, made me violently uncomfortable the first time I read it, so clearly either Nick would not mind being taken down by Tom or we need to have a serious talk with F. Scott Fitzgerald. Not to mention the odd scene where Nick disappears for FOUR HOURS between midnight and 4:00 AM with the sole memory of standing beside a bed with a half-naked man who was earlier described as feminine and was holding a “great portfolio.” Let’s just say that by the end of Chapter 2 some alarm bells were going off in my pea-sized brain.
Now for the real argument: Nick is clearly infatuated with Jay Gatsby. He wrote two entire paragraphs--one in Chapter 3 and one in Chapter 4--simply about the captivating, caring nature of Gatsby’s smile. He even details later in Chapter 4 how he “held out” against Gatsby’s smile, as if it was some force drawing him into something he refused to be a part of. Overall, the entire situation of Nick and Gatsby’s first meeting screams “21st century fanfiction.” Simple, normal Nick gets invited to a fancy party and chooses to go. He starts talking to another simple, normal man who offers to take him out on the water in the morning, and it feels as if everything is falling together when suddenly he realizes his “date” is actually the party’s affluent host. He is left alone with the female friend he came with, and suddenly he becomes almost obsessed with the man he was speaking with, asking his friend about him with a sudden sense of urgency. I’ll be fair--that is an utterly ridiculous analogy. Still, it checks every box, and it seems as if Gatsby is as aware of it as I am.
Gatsby has this odd mystery about him--every move he makes is tactfully chosen, and he seems to have a global knowledge of anything related to Daisy. Because of this, it is clear that the only reason Gatsby is friends with Nick and Jordan is because he believes he can use them to get closer to Daisy. He uses his inexplicable charm to draw Nick in and convince him to help Gatsby get the girl he’s been lusting after for years. In his one valid statement in the entire book, Tom told Nick this at the end of the book: “[Gatsby] threw dust into your eyes just like he did in Daisy’s…” This statement, in and of itself, can be taken in a romantic light, but it also shows how Nick has been a bit manipulated by Gatsby. I will acknowledge that Gatsby displays many extremely relatable qualities that come together to create a characteristic I like to call “disaster gay” (literally the entirety of the panic in Chapter 5). However, Nick is the only main character in the novel who displays heavy bisexual tendencies, and Gatsby seems to be using this to his advantage.
Finally, Chapter 9 is an emotional experience for all of us. Nick is profoundly affected by Gatsby’s death as he is left to grieve almost completely alone. Although he says in Chapter 8 that he never really liked Gatsby, his narration in Chapter 9 tells a different story. Even with Gatsby gone, he feels as if it’s him and Gatsby against the world. He’s found himself suddenly in charge of Gatsby’s funeral, growing more and more distraught with each person that disrespects the dead Gatsby. Most tellingly, he feels as if he had to care for Gatsby, or at least find someone else to be with him. Nick has this inexplicable obligation to Gatsby that screams “unrequited love” forcefully at me until I become emotional.
All this being said, the most interesting part about it all is that I’m completely and wholly wrong. Anyone who says that F. Scott Fitzgerald would have written a bisexual narrator in the 1920s is utterly kidding themselves. Human sexuality wasn’t even perceived as more than “one or the other” until much later in the 20th century. The truth of Nick’s sexuality lies not in the text but in the reader’s perception of said text. The simplest answer to this difference in perception and reality lies in the identity of the reader, but even that doesn’t wholly explain the situation. If the narrator were a woman, chemistry between her and Gatsby would be clear to many more readers. Of course, that shows that, as is, the perception of the relationship is dependent on the reader’s experiences in life; however, it also shows that some of the misconception lies in the general culture of the 21st century.
The vast majority of the examples I provided for Nick’s bisexuality were really written to establish mystery surrounding Gatsby’s character (or simply because Fitzgerald’s writing was excessively descriptive). He clearly had no intention of sending the message that we receive today, but in 21st-century culture, mystery and romance are often intertwined. We’re so used to correlating mystery and romance that sometimes one can come off as the other. Regardless, the best part of fiction is that it’s completely fictional. Nick can be whatever readers make him into (aside from blatant, major misinterpretations), and choosing to spend my time after we finish the book reading academic papers about Nick’s sexuality is both well within my rights and perfectly valid.
Some side notes:
In my research for this, I ended up on Ao3--not to read anything (spoilers, y’know), but to see how many works there were on this and what specifically was going on there, but, despite my attempts, I still managed to spoil Gatsby’s death for myself. Just so we all know the sacrifices I’ve made here. || Update: Now that we’ve finished the book, I’ve taken to reading here, and I think this is what's going to keep me sane during what I’m choosing to call the coronacation.
I’d also like to say that I’m very suspicious of Catherine and her tendency to run off to random places across the world with other women, but we never heard anything from here again, so this is all she gets.
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my OITNB thoughts
*spoilers*
Okay so I literally JUST finished season 7 and here’s what I have to say;
Piper: ok piper as a character overall is annoying we know this, but I liked that in the end she stuck by Alex despite what everyone in her life told her. The whole cheating/not-cheating thing pissed me off a lil even though I really liked Zelda as a character. Alex+Piper may have had their ups and downs but I’m glad that vauseman is endgame.
Alex: She is one of my favourite characters because she is such a strong one. We know from previous seasons that she has loved piper for 10 years if not more (love is pain??) so the whole Guard-cheating situation really annoyed me as it seemed very forced. I almost cried in the scene where Hellman shoved the Heroin down her throat as it was so brutal. I LOVED that she got to go to Ohio and be with Boo, Jones, Gina, Norma etc because it shows that she won’t be alone and that the ‘rest of the gang’ is all doing okay down in Ohio together - it made me smile :))
Red: IM STILL CRYING OVER HER. Fr this one I’m hella pissed at. They really took the Mother of the family and destroyed her in front of them??? Did they have to??? I think it’s just such a shame that she was seperated from Nicky. Red is/was THE strongest, maternal, most badass character and definitely one of my favourites, so so so heartbreaking to see her story end like this (but at least she has morello) seeing her deteriorate really felt like losing someone.
Taystee: She really did deserve justice, honestly one of the most disappointing but realistic character endings. I loved the poussey flashback she had - and the way she set up the found inside the prison, I thought it was good that they are giving her something to do within her sentence.
Cindy: even though I know she deserved it, I still felt bad for what happened to cindy
Suzanne: I liked how they showed her development really well over the last couple of seasons, and that they have shown a friendship between her and lolly. I really love Suzanne (ice cream... and justice!!!)
Pensatucky: she lost A LOT over the whole series and has honestly had THE BEST character arc/development. From going to a character that everyone hated- to one that everyone is grieving for?? Incredible. The one thing that made me even sadder was the fact that taystee found her, even after all the shit she’s been through. Tiffany’s death was so shocking but she died so taystee could live.
Morello: AGAIN- STILL CRYING. Lorna is the sweetest character of this whole show, and one of my favourite characters. Did they really have to take sterling away from her?? Was it necessary??? At least she is in Florida where she can be looked after - make some friends, instead of being in psyc where she may not have survived. Seeing morello get worse and worse this season really broke me because even though I knew she was crazy, I really thought that Nicky and her would be able to stay by each other’s sides and the fact that Nicky had to ‘turn’ her into Florida... that shit hurted. Her last scene with red really said a lot nd spoke. Her ending may not have been happy at all but it was realistic and that’s what’s upsetting
Gloria: mama had a brilliant ending. She didn’t turn in Maria again to be nasty and she got the proper release date. Gloria got to see her family, got her daughters back AND got to see her grandchild. She got the ending that I would have liked red to have but I’m still happy :)
Shani: everyone seems to love shani, and while I appreciate that her and Nicky had a special relationship- I just didn’t like it :/ maybe because I rlly want morello and Nicky together?? But I think mainly because it seemed a bit forced and unreal- idk but for me it didn’t seem to fit right. I agreed that her story was tragic though - she didn’t deserve the ending that’s predicted
Flaca/Maritza: Maritza’s ending was brutal, and left us to chose what happened. I really thought that when flaca and maritza found each other again it was gonna be a happy situation for them (me -> 🤡) What I did like though was the fact that Flaca is carrying on Gloria’s work and helping the women in the detention centre.
Blanca: Her character played a really big role in this season (and in season 5 too) I love the way they ended things with her, because for her all she ever wanted was Diablo- this was a solid + happy ending :))
Pornstache/luzchek/warden ward: Mendez seemed to be a changed man, and I liked the little scene we had with him and his daughter, luzchek had a reasonable ending but a good one in terms of - he did the right thing. Warden ward was a good women, and a good friend too - I liked her character, she was funny but also a good warden, FUCK HELLMAN!
Fig+Caputo: I���ve always liked caputo even in the beginning, although I thought fig was a bitch. I loved them both this season they were amazing as a couple and fig giving that woman her abortion pill - well done 👏👏 I also liked the twist on the fact that they chose to adopt! (See the end for notes on the MeToo)
Maria: her character arc seemed forced?? I like that she was trying to improve though
Daya: so..........we just gotta asume she’s dead??? Tbh this bitch deserved it. Yeah she got life, but she could have desided to do something good with it - like taystee. Instead she goes for drugs and dragging her sister(s) into it. I agree with aleida here, I don’t recognise the s6/s7 daya.
Nicky: I saved the best till last. Nicky is my all time favourite character because she is strong, funny and tough, but at the same time we see a really vulnerable and raw side of her. SHE DESERVED BETTER. Nicky has lost everyone. Lorna, red, piper, Alex, shani- all gone and on top of that she had to deal with turning in the woman she loved most to Florida where she could never care for her again, she had to deal with watching red (her mother) deteriorate before her, and watch her love interest be deported without saying goodbye or being able to do anything. Nicky deserved none of this but what gets me is that this is realistic, and not a happy ending :(( I will never stop being sad about nickys ending. The only good part is she chose to learn from red, and become a newer version of red. Working in the kitchen (running it) and helping girls to get clean, this shows hope for her- maybe even find a new family. But Nicky doesn’t know that Boo, Gina, Norma etc and now Alex are all fine and together and happy. She doesn’t know what’s going to happen to Red or Morello and will never be able to help them again - that’s what makes me sad and what made my heartbreak.
gangs @ the end: I really liked that they showed all the characters staying true to them selves. All the old friends are still together and still surviving/thriving. The last 2 seasons were very focused on only the people in max and the detour showed us all the old inmates. Honestly I miss the original Litchfield - nothing will beat the first 5 seasons.
SIDE NOTES: the show did soooo good to show the truth about ICE and the brutality of it all. They also included MeToo which I think was a good addition. This season was heavily set in today’s world and shed such good light on all current events - I really really liked that. Even though it’s over now, the show will still go on the effect more and more lives, just like it’s effected mine. truly- orange forever :)
#this show man...#oitnb#season7#red#nicky nichols#lorna#taystee#cindy#pensatucky#daya#gloria#flaritza#vausseman#vausman#caputo#ice#metoo
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Save Me: Chapter 30 - Resolution
~Hey guys! Chapter 30 is out now :) Molly takes a break from Alexandria in order to become a better person and live her life free from Negan’s hold...I hope y’all are having a good week <3 I can’t believe i’ve published thirty chapters of Save Me!! I couldn't have done this without all of your support, love you all <3~
There was change in the air at Alexandria, but for Molly things would only feel different once she began a new life, far away from Negan.
Negan's POV//
I had stayed in the Doc's office for about a week until the cell was made, then I was transported there.
It must have been an old basement because I only had a small window to look out of and when you did, you were at grass level.
I couldn't see Molly's house, the pricks made sure of that.
Two weeks passed and she never came, I doubted she ever would, I just hoped she was safe.
All I did from morning till night was sit there on my bed which had a thin mattress or look out of the window and listen in on people's conversations.
I hated not doing anything or talking to anyone, it was driving me crazy.
But that was the point I guessed, they wanted to break me like I had tried to do to them.
One morning the door swung open and Rick came to stand in front of the bars, he wanted to have a chat.
We had those weekly.
'It was a hard day. Hardest we've had in a while. A man lost his arm and the project is behind schedule' he said as he pulled up a chair to sit down.
I sat in the darkness and watched him.
'People were at each other's throats. Thing is though, as bad as it was, when the day was done they came together' he said confidently.
He meant my Saviours and his people.
'Not all of them, but enough' he continued.
At least some were still loyal to me. They were waiting for me to rise again, which I would.
'They chose to be together, you see what I'm getting at? No matter what happens, it's human nature to come together. That's just what we do' Rick said sternly.
I just smiled in disbelief.
'That's a real pretty picture you paint there Rick. When do I get to see it?' I asked hoarsely.
'Never. You can die behind these bars, you know that' he said slowly.
I scoffed and said 'well then, don't I get some final request? Why don't you bring Molly to me?'.
'Don't you get tired of acting like you're still in charge?!' Rick asked chuckling to himself.
I scowled when I knew he would never let me see her.
'Do you?' I asked provokingly.
'You think that just because they all had a little wienie roast that you got all this on lock? When it finally goes to shit and it will, make sure you come back and you tell me all about that day too' I spat at him.
'We're thriving without you, Molly is thriving without you. We're building a future just like I said we would' he said now standing up and coming close to the bars.
I had gotten under his skin, but unlike before, he knew he was getting under mine by mentioning Molly.
'Building it for who? For Carl?' I retorted teasingly.
'You don't speak his name' he growled.
'Your family's gone Rick. Same as mine. That bridge you're buildin, it's not the future. It's a monument to the dead' I said as I stood slowly and walked towards the bars.
'You're not saving the world Rick, you're just getting it ready for me' I added, smiling at him.
He was terrified when I said that, he was doubting himself already.
Soon he would fall and I would be leader again, then I could get Molly back.
I smiled at the thought as Rick walked away.
Molly's POV//
It was beautiful.
Tara was coming home soon and then I would have to give her my answer but looking around, I saw people connecting and working together.
Building work in Alexandria had started as the clean up was finished.
I saw Rick's plans, they were perfect. It was gonna be a goddamn paradise.
Just what Carl had envisioned, fields of crops and vegetables, a church, windmill, hydroelectricity from the lake.
We were finally bringing civilisation back.
Many Saviours like Laura and Diane were on board, joking and laughing with the others.
It was nice to see people setting aside their differences, trust was still along way off but now at least we had a common goal.
I oversaw the crop plantation and food supply.
I had experience of that stuff and the Saviours working for me liked that I was once one of them, or so they thought.
Sometimes it felt like I was the one bridging the gap, whenever a Saviour had an issue they would come to me because I knew them on a personal level.
They understood that I wasn't Negan and never would be, but I guess I gave them comfort during this period of fragile change.
I loved it here, it felt good to have a leadership role again, like I'd had at the Sanctuary but without the darkness and brutality.
Some days I completely forgot that Negan was here, especially when I was busy.
It was only when things seemed to slow down or stop that I felt him nearby.
It was like he was watching me, from that tiny window.
I never looked in that direction but I felt it.
That was why I needed to leave, even for just a while.
I needed to break that bond because it still felt like we were tied to one another with string and it would only snap if one of us made it so.
I had decided.
I marched with determination to the cell where he was, fully knowing that I wasn't ready but emotion got the better of me and I needed to know.
I made sure to sneak past the guards during their shift change and I pulled open the door and walked inside.
I had never seen the cell before but it looked like hell.
It was dark and stifling with very little breeze.
I hadn't seen Negan since the throat slash and I knew it would be almost impossible to talk to him but there would be no conversation, just one question.
I stood strong with a confident stance as I strode towards the bars, seeing his shadow grow larger as he came closer, when finally he was illuminated by a streak of light from the window.
I physically restrained myself from audibly gasping at seeing his face, instead we just stared into each others eyes.
He spoke first, like he always did.
'Rick told me that you're doing well. I'm glad' he said almost smiling.
I cut straight through this.
'Cut the crap. You're gonna answer one question then we're done, is that clear?' I said sternly as I folded my arms.
He just stared at me, with more hurt in his eyes than before.
'After everything you owe me at least that...' I said, trying to prevent my voice from cracking through the pain.
He now knew exactly what was running through my mind, he knew my question and it's answer.
'Ask me' he whispered as he looked down to the ground and placed his hands in his pockets.
I exhaled, my eyes started to well up and I bit my lip to stop from trembling.
'Was any of it real or were you just using me to get to Rick?' I asked hesitantly.
He paused for a moment, his face freezing, leaving just his eyes tracing parts of the concrete floor.
He inhaled, gathering his composure and looked straight into my eyes and said calmly, 'no...you we're just a means to an end. I need you to fall in love with me so I could use you as leverage'.
My eyes didn't stray from his as he spoke these words to me, I was paralysed with heartache as I felt my tears cease rising.
I nodded as I moved closer to the bars and replied coldly, 'thank you'.
I turned on my heels and darted for the door, he didn't try to stop me.
I swung the door open so that it hit against the wall and stormed out.
It was only once I was out of the cell and I walked back up the stairs that I let myself feel.
All my emotions came flooding in at once, overwhelming me.
I struggled to breathe as I gasped through screams of tears.
Of course some looked at me as I stormed to my house, with one hand covering my mouth and the other placed on my stomach to control my breathing, I didn't care.
I just needed to get away from him.
He never loved me. He never loved me. He never loved me.
Negan's POV//
'Fuck!' I whispered as I gripped the bars and pressed my forehead against them in frustration.
I had to let her go, she needed to live without me.
She hated me and I loved her more than ever.
She looked so beautiful, she was glowing.
If there was any time where she would be the light in my life, it was now.
I needed her more than ever but she was no longer in my reach.
I sat back down onto my bed and held my head in my hands.
The door swung violently open as Michonne walked in.
'Well look who it is' I said sarcastically.
'What did you say to her?' she said sternly as she folded her arms.
I sighed, saying 'ah you see, that's none of your concern'.
She moved closer to the bars.
'Molly's well-being is my concern. You need to let her go, she can't be happy if you're around' she said.
'I agree, that's what i'm trying to do. But quit bullshitting me, you're not gonna kill me' I said smirking.
'You're right i'm not, even though Molly would be better off. But, she would never forgive me, so for now, you live' she said smiling sarcastically as she was about to walk out the door.
She turned around slowly and said, 'If you care about her at all, leave her be'.
'That's why I'm doing this Michonne, I want her to be happy. But, she'll have to hear what I have to say eventually' I replied as she walked away.
I heard her stop before she walked outside, she must have been contemplating what I told her.
Molly's POV//
As soon as I got to my house, I ran upstairs and curled into a ball on my bedroom floor and just sobbed for hours.
Everything that I had risked, that I had lost for that man.
I hated him, but never more so than I hated myself.
At least when I thought that he loved me, there was a purpose but now there was nothing.
Nothing left here for me anymore. I had decided.
I waited at the gates for Tara to return.
All day I thought about my decision and whether it was right, but I knew in my heart that I had to.
All of sudden, from my binoculars I saw Tara approaching, followed by a large group of women.
I smiled when I saw her, they must have been from Oceanside.
'Open the gates!' I shouted down to Daryl who nodded and slid them open.
In came Tara and I climbed down the steps and pulled her in for a hug.
'God I've missed you!' I said chuckling as we embraced.
The women all came inside the compound and stood around admiring the place.
'Molly, I'd like you to meet the people of Oceanside. They've agreed to help us' Tara said as she ushered to the women.
Suddenly a young woman emerged from the group and marched towards me and Tara.
'Hi, I'm Cindy, the leader' she said as we shook hands.
'Thank you so much for being a part of this' I said as we smiled at each other.
Tara whispered to me that she was a nice person.
Tara kept her eyes firmly on Cindy's so I knew something was going on between them.
'Please, follow me. I would like to introduce you all to our leader, Rick Grimes' I said as I pointed over to Rick.
Rick was about to leave for the bridge repairs (the bridge was vital for connecting Hilltop to Alexandria for a faster route).
They followed me and Tara over to Rick.
Cindy looked at me, puzzled and said 'I thought you were the leader?'.
I chuckled, saying 'oh, no. I never could be'.
She just said 'hm' while she frowned in disappointment.
Rick had shown them around Alexandria, the plans for the future of the place, the function of uniting the communities and how Oceanside would contribute and also gain from this.
They were in agreement and seemed excited about the prospect of greater security and prospects.
They had promised to stay and help build the bridge but would return to Oceanside afterwards.
Many were opposed to working with the Saviours after what they did to their brothers and husbands but tried their best to all come together.
Meanwhile, I pulled Tara to one side and told her my decision.
'I've made up my mind' I said smiling at her.
'So...' she said slowly.
'I'm going to Hilltop for a couple years. I'll help with their agricultural development and then I'll come back to Alexandria' I said as she squealed and pulled me in to a tight squeeze.
'Okay, okay, cutting off my circulation now' I said breathlessly.
She just chuckled and said 'it's best, I hope you know that'.
I just nodded and smiled.
'But are you sure you wanna go today and leave Cindy all alone?' I said teasingly as we walked to the gates.
She stopped me with a hand on my arm and said 'what d'ya mean?'.
'Oh cut the crap, I see everything that goes on, alright. Especially with you. You like her!' I said smiling smugly.
She sighed and chuckled, saying 'yeah, okay fine...she said she'll come to Hilltop to see me!'.
'Ooooo' I said mockingly.
'Shut up' she said with faux annoyance and pushed my arm.
'You got everything?' she said as she climbed into the car.
I looked behind me one last time, mainly at the cell.
'Yeah, yeah there's nothing I've left' I said slowly and sadly.
I climbed into the front seat and then we were off.
'See ya in a couple years Alexandria!' Tara said enthusiastically as we put on our shades.
I wore my old black ray bans and Tara wearing her ridiculous orange ones and pulled away from the gates.
#negan#the walking dead negan#negan x original female character#twdromance#mollychambler#tarachambler#romance#smut#betrayal#rickgrimes#michonne#maggie
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For the Fictomber prompts, can I get a peraltiago with a number 7?
Hi @stars-my-darling! I’m sorry that this is a little late (I was hoping to be able to play the Timezone Difference card, but I’m most definitely just plain LATE now) 🙈 … but here it is, along with your request for a Princess AU! 👑♥️
run run run away, baby
“No! And that’s final.”
The King was direct in his tone, sceptre slamming into the ground for emphasis as he looked down at Amy. She can feel her heart beginning to fall, spiralling down towards her feet, and her eyes follow it’s path.
“The very idea of it is preposterous, Amelia.”
A familiar sense of defiance runs through her, and Amy shakes her head in response. “I love him, your majesty. I want to marry him. And he wants to marry me.”
The jewels studded along the edge of the King’s crown glisten under the sunlight as he scoffs, shrugging off her answer with a roll of his eyes. “What does one need love for, when you have fortune and nobility?”
Amy shakes her head again, countering - “What good is fortune, if you don’t have love?”
His laugh is dismissive, voice taking on a condescending tone that cuts to her core. “You are the Princess of Brooklynd, Amelia. A role that every single woman across the land would happily give up everything for. You are not going to ruin years of tradition by taking the hand of some lowly stable boy. You cannot marry him. I won’t stand for it.”
Amy’s eyes are hot with unshed tears as she swivels away, making quick work of putting distance between the King and herself. This afternoon had turned out exactly the way she had been terrified of, and there was only one person that she knew would be able to comfort her right now.
Technically, the King was correct. She was the Princess of Brooklynd, and there was undoubtedly scores of women within the villages who would love a chance to spend a day in her shoes.
But she had not been born to this role.
The story had been told to her so many times that Amy could now recite it without blinking. That she had been just over five years old when the King and Queen had found her standing, alone and upset, along the pathway towards the kingdom. They had lifted her into their carriage, taking her home to the castle for food and shelter while they conducted a thorough search throughout the surrounding villages for her parents. Sadly, nobody came forward. Amy had been abandoned, the only clue of her previous life a small locket that, too big for her neck, had been wrapped around her wrist. It had her first name burned into the metal in a gentle cursive, and by the following week Amy had been turned into Princess Amelia - the luckiest royal daughter to ever exist.
From the outside, her life appeared enviable - evenings draped in ballgowns created by the finest of threads; a sprawling castle with it’s own library to call home; the rarest of artworks adorning their walls. She was undeserving of this life of splendour that had been thrust upon her, and was reminded of it constantly.
As time wore on and she became more self-aware, it became apparent that Amy had very different views on how to run a kingdom than that of the King. The Queen, having perished several years earlier from a terrible illness, had been minimal with her maternal actions, choosing to follow the lead of her husband in moulding their prized daughter into a mirror image of themselves, priming her for rule when the time would come. But Amy was not one to have her decisions made for her, and as a result she often clashed with her patriarch.
She had been living a life of obligation for so long it had become impossible to imagine a life without it when she first met Jake Peralta. Having recently turned seventeen, she was hiding in the stables with only her book for company when he’d taken a wrong turn and entered a previously unused stall. Tripping on a loose rope, he’d stumbled ungracefully, startling Amy from her position laying across a bale of hay, and after apologising profusely for a solid amount of time (even as a stable boy, he knew the dangers of upsetting a member of the royal family), they’d begun talking. Then, they were laughing.
Her whole life, Amy had been unable to shake the feeling that she was a part of a larger puzzle, missing an assortment of extra pieces, and that a life of solitude with just her and the King and Queen didn’t nearly count for enough. Jake was kind, and funny; a ray of sunshine after years of grey skies, and it wasn’t long until they were meeting every single day. He made her laugh so much that her stomach hurt, and in the quieter moments Amy couldn’t help but notice just how handsome he was. Or how much her skin tingled whenever their hands would accidentally brush against each other.
With Jake’s encouragement, Amy discovered how to really live - to ride horses without restraint; to climb the trees until she reached their highest branch, to lay in the grass and watch the sky turn peach with the fading sun. She got to know a world without costumes and stuffy dinners, where duty and privilege were unimportant details and that a day without laughter was truly a day wasted. He became her best friend: her point of solace when she would disagree with the King (which was pretty often), and the only person she truly felt she could be herself around.
She had shown him the underside of her necklace, her name delicately traced against the metal, and from that day on he never called her Amelia again. To him, she was Amy - and then eventually Ames - and she was falling in love with him so rapidly it made her dizzy.
And then one night while they lay together counting stars, Jake had leaned over and kissed her, and suddenly it felt as though everything had finally fallen into place. From that moment on, they were Jake and Amy, filling their days with clandestine meetings in various places within the castle grounds, laying together in quieter moments and daydreaming of a life outside of their own.
Three years had since passed, and the two of them were unequivocally in love. Last week, as they walked through the forest that surrounded the castle, Jake had gripped Amy’s hand so tightly in his, trying (and failing) to conceal his shaking body as he told Amy all of the things that she had always wished to hear. That she was the love of his life, that the world had changed for him the moment they met, and that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with her. With the scent of blossoming jasmine surrounding them, Jake stood in front of Amy, and knelt down on one knee.
“I know that I don’t have much to offer. I know that I am a simple stable boy, and that I cannot give you the life you’ve had for so long. All I can give you is my heart, and the rest of my years, and Ames, you have one of those already. I don’t know how, or when, or if it could ever even happen, but I know that I can’t imagine a life without you. Amy, will you marry me?”
There were fireworks exploding inside her heart as she broke out into the biggest grin, nodding so rapidly she could barely speak. Instead, her knees sunk down into the grass beside his, pulling Jake in for a kiss that could have lasted forever if only they had the chance. And while she knew that it was going to be difficult - and that there was a very large possibility that the King would not approve - Amy didn’t care. All of the supposed splendour of royalty was just a facade, and worthless if you didn’t have somebody you truly loved to share it with.
And so she had stood before the King today, resplendent in her finest outfit in the hopes of gaining his approval, and told him of the relationship that she had kept secret for so long.
As predicted, he had disregarded her passionate pleas, declaring her betrothal to a Prince from a nearby kingdom as far more advantageous, denying her the chance to marry for love instead of duty. And now she was running towards the stable at the back of the palace field, flinging the barn door open with a grunt when she finally reaches the structure.
Jake was inside raking through hay when she ran inside, turning to Amy with a smile so sweet she could already feel herself calming down just a little.
“Ames! You look beautiful - wait, what’s wrong?”
The rake is cast aside, hitting the ground with a dull thud as he rushes towards her, enveloping Amy in his arms before another word is spoken. Within seconds his shirt is wet with her tears, the anguish and disappointment of the day finally catching up to Amy now that she’s wrapped up with the one she loves.
“He won’t let us, Jake. The - the King. He’s forbidden us fr-from getting married.” Amy’s words are shaky, heart pounding too hard for her to speak clearly as the reality of the situation hits her, the sound muffled from her position against Jake’s chest.
He pulls away slightly, eyes full of regret as he takes in the devastation clearly written on her face. “Oh, Ames. I’m so sorry. I should never have put you in this position.”
She shakes her head vehemently, placing one hand on either side of his face. “Please don’t ever apologise for loving me, Jake. You’ve brought so much beauty to my life, and marrying you is all I could ever want. You’re it for me, Jake Peralta. That’s never going to change.”
His head dips downwards, meeting her lips with his own, and Amy can taste the salt of her tears as she breathes him in. The thought of marrying anybody else - of having to kiss anybody else - was enough to break her heart. Eventually they seperate, Jake holding Amy’s hand close to his chest as they walk over to a nearby bench.
Amy’s breath shudders in her chest as she looks up at Jake, the words bitter on her tongue as she explains about Prince Tedford from a nearby province - an uninspiring man that the King has decided is worthy of her hand. Her tears start up all over again as she speaks, hands twisting up the fabric of her skirt around her fingers as she digs her nails in. When she looks up, and sees the horror on Jake’s face at the sound of her marrying somebody other than him, she pulls herself closer to his side, resting her head on his shoulder as one arm curls around his waist.
“I can’t do it, Jake. I won’t. I could never love anybody else.”
Jake’s shoulders raise as he takes in a deep breath, sniffling loudly as he tries to hold back his tears. “When does he want you to marry this other prince?”
Tucking her nose into Jake’s upper arm, Amy pauses for a moment before speaking. “As soon as possible. Especially now that he knows that I want to be with someone else.”
Her head jostles as Jake buries his face in his hands, shaking slowly as the information sinks in. She rests her free hand against his thigh, squeezing gently while she waits in silence. And after a moment, Jake’s head lifts.
“Okay, hear me out for a second. What if we ran away together? Just packed up a few of our things and disappeared?”
The stable falls silent as Amy’s heart leaps into her chest, the idea that maybe not all was doomed suddenly too much for her to understand. Jake takes her silence as doubt, and continues. “I mean … they’re not your family, right? Clearly, the King doesn’t understand you. Somewhere out there Ames, there’s a family that has been dreaming and waiting and praying for your return. So let’s just go find them.”
Amy’s left hand reaches up to grasp the necklace that never left her neck. Most days, she felt it was her only link to her real family, wherever they may be. And now the thought that she could escape all of this, and find her way home, was a little overwhelming.
“Jake, do you hear what you’re saying? Run away from the palace, and all it’s guards?” He nods enthusiastically, and Amy tries her hardest not to get swept up in his eagerness. “Do you really think we could?”
“The guards have grown incredibly lazy over the years, babe. Most of them haven’t even noticed our sneaking around, and there have been times when our cover story was not plausible. We could leave in the middle of the night. There’s bound to be some of them asleep at their post. We won’t be able to take much, but Ames … what else do we need, except each other?”
Her eyes pool with tears all over again, but this time they’re full of joy as Amy nods, a smile breaking out on her face for the first time all day. It might be insanity, and it was incredibly risky, but the danger of a life without Jake was far more terrifying. He stands with a whoop, pulling Amy up and into his arms as they laugh together, the prospect of a brighter future now suddenly so much clearer than it had ever been.
*
They choose a night in the middle of the week to disappear, relying on the stars for light as Jake untethers Amy’s favourite horse, waiting until her arms are wrapped tightly around his waist before riding away from the castle.
For days, for weeks, they keep a low profile as word gets out that the Princess has run away. Bounty’s bigger than most families fortunes are offered for Amy’s return, drawings of her likeness pasted on doorways and tree trunks for miles and miles.
At night, they get creative with places to sleep - finding quiet barns or abandoned cottages to give them shelter from the cold. It’s a stark contrast to the feather filled mattresses that Amy had always slept on in the castle, but falling asleep inside Jake Peralta’s arms was more comfortable than anything she’d ever known. With him she was the happiest she had ever been. She was safe, and she no longer feared the future.
The further they ventured, the less the villagers seemed to know of Amy’s disappearance, and the King’s arrogance in refusing to know his staff had ultimately worked in Jake’s favour, allowing him to remain under the cover of anonymity. Then one afternoon; while Amy lay in her favourite hiding spot - a field of wildflowers that, untethered, had grown so tall that her position was invisible from the worn path - Jake approached her with an excited grin.
Tucking a plucked flower into the well-worn pages of her favourite book to mark her place, Amy placed the novel to her side, giving Jake her full attention. With a gentle kiss after sitting beside her, he gripped her hands in his before declaring - “I think I’ve found your parents.”
Amy’s heart leaps into her chest, squeezing Jake’s fingers in surprise as she shakes her head in disbelief. “What? How?”
Jake had been at the local market, gathering some food for their next journey to a province even further away from the castle, when he’d overheard two locals talking to a family that had recently moved into the village. Watching as the two parents introduced their seven sons, Jake noticed the heartbreak that ran over the mother’s face as she spoke of their only daughter, explaining that she had been taken from them at an early age. What kept his attention, however, was the woman’s striking likeness to Amy. Same olive skin, same dark hair, same brown eyes that somehow always seemed to radiate kindness.
The father spoke up, explaining that over the years they had moved through the provinces, each time praying that this time they would finally be reunited with their daughter. They were never going to give up, he explained. Not when their child is out there waiting for them.
There wasn’t a doubt in Jake’s mind that he was looking at Amy’s parents, and he had rushed back through the maze of tents, dodging the traders looking to hawk their goods as he headed to the field he knew Amy would be hiding in.
She sat across from him now, eyes wide in amazement as the idea that she might be about to finally meet her parents washes over her. “Jake … are you sure?”
He shrugs, giving her a sheepish smile before explaining “The only thing I’ve ever been sure about is you. But I feel like we have to at least try?”
Amy’s hands begin to shake and Jake stands, tightening his grip as he pulls her up to join him. “Oh my gosh, Jake - is this really about to happen?” Her head shakes in disbelief, looking up at him with knitted brows. “I mean … what if they don’t like me?”
Releasing her hands, Jake brushes a strand of hair away from her face, leaning in to press a kiss to her temple. “Impossible, Ames. You’re an amazing person, and they’d be crazy not to see that. And besides, if all else fails, at least we’ll have each other, right?”
She nods, teeth sinking into her lip in excitement. It had been such a long few weeks, staying low and hiding away from the locals, but now everything was falling into place. Quickly, she runs her fingers through her hair, smoothing away any other loose hairs before adjusting the bodice of her dress, looking over at Jake and asking - “Do you think I look okay?”
He smiles, running his hands down her arms in comfort. “I’m probably the worst person to ask. To me, you always look amazing.” She blushes, and he lets out a quiet laugh. “But yes, you look beautiful. Trust me, they’re going to love you.” Dropping a quick kiss to her lips, he pulls away to add, “It’s really hard not to.”
*
Jake’s fingers are entwined with hers as he pulls her back through the differently coloured market stalls, Amy using her free hand to keep the shawl that they’d wrapped around her head close. This town didn’t seem to have any awareness of Princess Amelia’s existence, let alone her current status as a runaway, but there was a part of her that was still fearful of one of the King’s men lurking in the shadows, and there was not a chance she was going to risk everything falling apart now that they were so close to finding her family.
He squeezes her hand as he finds the same people from before, following them closely until they’ve reached a more secluded section, gaining their attention and explaining that there was somebody he thinks they should meet. With Jake’s encouragement, Amy steps forward, dropping the shawl and locking eyes with the mystery woman, and in an instant she knew.
For years, Amy had been having dreams where somebody that looked just like her would visit, talking to her in such a soothing voice that any fears that had been escalating were immediately eradicated. The idea that such a woman could have abandoned her hurt far too much for Amy to think about, and so she had pushed away the idea of having such a loving mother, relegating her to a figment of her imagination only. Only now, she could see the memories had been real.
In a voice so similar to her own, the woman cries out Mija!, arms pulling Amy in for a tight hug as the boys around her stand in shock. When she pulls away the older gentleman moves to stand in front of her, the eyes raking over her face growing wider as he too began to realise that their family was once again complete.
It was several hours before everything began to settle, and after years of mystery the truth finally came to pass.
Amy was a Santiago, and sister to seven brothers. Her parents, Camila and Victor, had pulled her aside quietly, telling Amy the story of how one day she and her brothers had been playing together when an overly adorned coach rolled down the path, pulling up and snatching Amy from her position on the grass before anybody could react. Victor had run after the coach for as long as his legs would allow, desperate to stop his worst nightmare from becoming a reality, and the misery at his failure was still obvious all the years later.
Having never seen the occupants of the coach, her family had devoted all the years afterwards to moving through the country, staying long enough at each new province to meet every person that lived there. The heartache of failure grew stronger with every passing year, and Camila’s hands kept gripping Amy’s as they sat together now, scarcely able to believe that they had finally been reunited.
They shook their heads in disbelief as Amy told them of her life as Princess Amelia, neither of them ever considering that people as affluent as the King and Queen would be so brazen as to take their child. Having lived so far away from the kingdom, they only knew of the royal Princess by name, never seeing her likeness drawn anywhere, and not for the first time Amy is thankful that she and Jake had thrown caution to the wind by escaping from the King’s tyrannic rule.
Jake hangs back for a long while, giving Amy a chance to meet everyone, watching her with careful eyes from the background in case it all got too overwhelming. He moves quickly towards her when she reaches for him, arm wrapping around her waist and squeezing as she introduces him to her parents - a word that sounded so foreign on her lips, yet brought such a feeling of joy when uttered.
He was nervous, fumbling over a jumble of words as he tells Amy’s family (FAMILY! She has a family now!) how exciting it is to finally meet them; explaining their journey here and telling all the Santiagos just how much he loved her. They welcomed him with open arms - he was the one to reunite them, after all - and by nightfall Jake and Amy are safely ensconced in the walls of the Santiago family home.
Within a month, they are married, family and friends gathering together under the oak tree that grew in the middle of Amy’s favourite field. In her hand she gripped a bunch of wildflowers, the scent of which would forever remind her of this day, and when Victor led her to Jake’s side, Amy had never felt more complete.
As he gripped her hands tightly within his, Jake promised to spend the rest of his life loving Amy - to hold her when the world grew cold, and kiss her goodnight every evening. With tears pouring down her face, Amy vowed to spend her lifetime with Jake in her heart; to be his guidance when the road grew dark, and to hold him in her arms when they would fall asleep. Together, they declared their love to be unending, sealing it with a kiss that made both of their hearts skip a tiny beat.
The princess may not have ended up with a prince, but Amy had found her home with Jake’s arms around her and her family smiling beside her, and that was the only fairytale ending they needed.
*
*
“And they all lived happily ever after.”
Closing the book quietly, Jake smiles down at his sleeping daughter, leaning in with his free hand to gently brush a curl away from her forehead. “Good night, sweetheart,” he whispered, leaving the tiniest of kisses against her forehead.
She snuffles quietly, eyelids fluttering open briefly and smiling up at Jake. “Daddy?”
“Yes, bubba?”
“You and mama are prince and pwincess too?”
Jake stands, moving to place the book back onto the well-stocked bookshelf before returning to his daughter. “No, honey. But mama and I, we’ve got our own love story.” Tucking the blankets surrounding her, Jake whispers “And one day, we’ll tell you all about it. But it’s time for sleep now, okay?”
Her eyes are already fluttering close again as she nods, head stilling halfway through as she falls back asleep. Jake pauses for a minute, watching her tiny chest fall up and down with her breaths, and for the hundredth time today alone he thanks the universe for everything that led him to this moment. Together, he and Amy had built a life together, their unbreakable bond resulting in this family of three (and maybe someday, even more). And while their love story would never be the same as the dragon fighting Princes climbing castle walls, like the story he had just read to their daughter, Jake knew that his and Amy’s story was even better.
He flicks on the nightlight as he leaves her bedroom, a cascade of stars climbing the ceiling in a soft blue light as he closes the door almost all the way closed. Catching the sight of his wife leaving the kitchen with two glasses of wine in her hand, Jake tiptoes down the hallway, and on the way he thinks to himself - there could never be a happier ending than this.
#mine#princess AU#please excuse my lateness#fictober prompts#b99fanfics#Jake x Amy fic#peraltiago fanfiction
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Vessel - Chapter 30
Summary: Sam and Dean thought their lives were a living hell. When they find a young girl who shares their name and family business, neither of them can help but be curious about who she is and what she can do for them.
A/N: For some reason, any time I put links in my posts the post doesn’t show up in the tags. So for now, click on my profile and you’ll see a link to my masterlist where you can find links to all my fics as well as the masterlist for Vessel.
When they returned to the bunker, the Winchester siblings immediately jumped into research mode. They spend the better part of a week digging through the same books over and over again. The eldest retreated to his ‘Dean cave’ hoping a little rest and relaxation would do him good. The younger two sat in the library, Sam at the table with his laptop and Mary laying on top of the table holding their father’s original journal.
“Do you keep a journal?” she suddenly asked, still engrossed in her father’s writing. Even though John had given her a copy of everything he’d ever written, MJ still loved reading the original thing. The same handwriting and drawings she’d pored over as a child never failed to fascinate her.
Sam cleared his throat, “not really. I never had the time.” He didn’t even look up from his computer.
“Did Dean?”
This time he looked at her, “I don’t know. You’d have to ask him. Why?”
Though she was still laying on her back, she shrugged her shoulders, “just curious to know what you two have done.”
“You could just ask.”
MJ looked at her brother with eyebrows raised, “neither of you ever want to talk about what you’ve been through. I can’t imagine you’d tell me straight up even if I did ask.”
He sighed, “that’s probably true.” She went back to reading the journal while Sam thought about their lives before meeting Mary. There were countless things she didn’t know and countless things they would likely never tell her themselves, “you know, if you’re really curious, Chuck published our stories under a pen name.”
“Really?” she looked surprised, “God wrote books about you?”
“We saved the world,” Sam admitted, “a couple of times actually.”
She sat up excitedly, “do we have copies of them here?”
He coughed out a laugh, “god no. Dean wants every copy of the Supernatural books burned.” MJ slouched dejectedly.
“Edmund,” Dean nodded at Sam, entering the library, “Lucy,” he looked to Mary.
“Was that-”
“Did you just reference the Chronicles of Narnia?” Sam turned his attention to his brother.
“Wait, you think you’re Peter?” MJ asked, putting more thought into the analogy than both of her brothers combined, “Does that make Cas Susan or Mr. Tumnus?” She dropped the conversation when she felt her phone vibrate. She retrieved her cell phone while ignoring her brothers’ conversation.
“MJ?” Dean stopped mid-sentence when he saw his sister smiling down at her phone. When she didn’t respond he tried again, “MJ?”
She looked up at him, “what?”
“What’s got you all smiley?” Sam asked.
“Is it Stephen?”
“What?” she looked between the two of them, “No. Dude, no, it’s Claire. She wants to know if I want to work a case with her.”
“Just you?” Dean eyed her suspiciously.
“Students are going missing from an all-girls school in Ohio. No offense, but you two can’t exactly pass for 17-year-old girls.”
“Wait a minute is…” Dean ignored what she said about the case, “is that why you turned Stephen down?”
“What?” MJ looked confused, “No, that- that has nothing to do with this. Seriously, Dean? Why are you so hung up on that?”
“Guys,” Sam interrupted his siblings, tired of the reoccurring discussion, “Mary, what’s the hunt?”
She looked back at her phone, “Cincinnati, Ohio. Several girls were found dead in their locked dormitories, no sign of break in.”
“That it?”
“Their brains were liquid.”
“But they were still there?” Dean asked
“Barely, but yeah,” Mary continued reading from the message, “Claire’s not exactly sure what it is.”
“All the more reason for us to come.”
“De-”
“You’re speaking in tongues, have magic dragon killing abilities, and you’re being hunted by everything that knows you exist. We’re coming.” Mary only sighed and shook her head as she trudged back to her room to pack.
~~~
“I thought I escaped high school,” Claire grumbled as she, Mary, and Dean approached the school.
“If you thought regular high school was hell,” MJ muttered, “wait till you see Catholic school.” Dean glanced at his little sister; her comment was another reminder of how little he knew about her life before they met.
The trio were visiting the school as a father and his two daughters that were hoping to attend the school while Sam stayed back at the motel to dig through the lore. Though he wasn’t thrilled with being left out of the early stages of the case, staying out of sight made it easier for Sam to play the FBI agent later.
“Stephanie will show your girls around while we chat about what you can expect from the school and what we expect rom you,” the headmistress told Dean when Claire and Mary were greeted by a teenage girl wearing a plaid skirt and a matching cardigan sweater.
The hunters parted ways to play their roles and continue investigating.
“Don’t mind Sister Legs Shut,” the girl, Stephanie, said once they were out of ear shot, “this place is way easier than she makes it out to be.”
Claire seemed confused, “she’s a nun?”
“Nah, that’s just what we call her. She’s got a major stick up her ass,” she explained. Mary couldn’t help but roll her eyes, knowing what living under a nun’s nose was really like.
“So,” Claire attempted to bring up the subject casually, “what happened to those girls earlier this month?”
“Cops are saying they had aneurisms or something.”
“You believe them?” MJ asked, playing her part.
“Why wouldn’t I?”
“Did you know the girls?” Claire continued
Stephanie shook her head, “not really, they were nobodies.”
Mary was distracted by the passing bulletin boards and school displays, detailing the holy sacraments and parables she’d grown up hearing. She was so engrossed in reading the signs she failed to notice the priest who stepped right in her path.
“Shit, sorry,” she muttered when she collided with him.
“Sorry, Father,” Stephanie stepped in, seeing who MJ rammed into, “she wasn’t watching where she was going.”
“That’s alright, Ms. Martin,” the man smiled, he looked at the young Winchester for a moment before it occurred to him that he’d seen her before, “Mary?”
MJ was frozen still, looking up at the man with wide eyes. Claire stepped between the priest and her friend, “you must be mistaken. This is my sister, Alex,” it was obvious to the young hunter that Mary recognized the man, but her inability to respond worried Claire.
“Sorry, Fr. Lucas,” Stephanie interjected again, “we’ll get out of your way.” She dragged the two hunters away before the priest could say anything else. “A word of advice, Fr. Lucas is kind of a dick, I’d stay away from him if I were you.”
“Why?” Claire asked, eyeing MJ.
“You know men,” she rolled her eyes, “anyway, I have to get to class, but if you wait here, Annie said she’d finish giving you the tour once she’s finished with her class.”
Once the student was out of earshot and it was just the hunters, Claire turned to Mary with a concerned look, “hey, you okay?”
MJ cleared her throat, “aces.”
“What- what was that? Did you know Fr. Lucas?”
“He uh, he was stationed in Peoria about six years ago,” she began, “he just surprised me is all.” Before either could say anymore on the subject, a different girl dressed in the same plaid skirt and matching cardigan approached the pair.
“Hi, I’m Annie,” she said with a smile, “Stephanie had to go, so I’m going to finish giving you your tour. Do you have any questions thus far?”
“Those are the dorms over there, right?” Claire asked, taking up the lead once again.
Annie’s smile never faltered, “they are.”
“So that’s where the bodies were found?”
The student paused, “The headmistress doesn’t want us talking about that on the tour, but yeah…” There was a sad undertone to Annie’s voice, unlike the emotionless quality of Stephanie’s.
It was Mary’s turn to talk, “did you know them?”
“Everyone knew them,” she offered a sad, regretful smile, “everyone loved them.”
“Girls,” suddenly the headmistress stepped in the path of the three young women, “are you quite finished with the tour?”
“Yes, headmistress,” Annie said, not looking the woman in the eye.
“Good. I’ll take you girls to your father, Ms. Donlan, you may return to class.” Annie only nodded in obedience before leaving Claire and Mary with the authoritative woman. None of them spoke as the headmistress walked them back to the office where Dean waited. He had been speaking to the secretary when they arrived, but the woman quickly dropped the conversation upon seeing her boss.
“Thank you,” Dean said to the headmistress once she returned with Claire and Mary, “you’ve certainly given us a lot to think about.”
“Certainly,” she said with a nod. “Good day.” Before anything else could be said, her office door was shut and the hunters were left looking at each other in confusion. They wordlessly agreed to leave the ever weirder school and discuss all they had found at the motel with Sam.
~~
“I think it’s the headmistress. She’s got a major stick up her ass,” Dean decided. He was sitting across from his brother at the small table inside their motel room. Claire and Mary sat together on one of the beds, Claire on her laptop while Mary was spread out on her back staring at the ceiling.
Claire shook her head, “I think it’s Fr. Lucas. The girl giving the tour told us to stay away from him and-”
Mary interrupted her before she could finish her sentence, knowing exactly what was coming, “it’s not Fr. Lucas.”
“But you-”
“No, Claire,” she shot her down again, “I know it’s not him.”
Sam cleared his throat, “how do you know? We don’t even know what did this yet.”
The youngest Winchester hesitated as she looked at her brothers. With a sigh, she decided to tell them, “Fr. Lucas was stationed in Peoria when I was little.”
“What?”
“He’s harmless, at least in the teenage girl killing sense, he’s just a bit of a creep.”
“You were scared shitless when you saw him.” This made Dean see red, the things the demon had said about the priests in Peoria still fresh in his mind.
“I wasn’t,” MJ started to defend herself but struggled with the right words to say, “he caught me off guard, that’s all. I was little when he left Peoria, but I had always heard it was because he left the priesthood.”
“Left the priesthood? Why?” Sam asked. Dean was still angrily watching the exchange.
Mary shrugged, “lots of people said it was because he was gay, but obviously Father would never have confirmed that. I just didn’t expect to see him working at an all-girls school in Ohio, that’s all.”
The conversation lulled, prompting Dean to interject, “so if it’s not the headmistress and it’s not the gay priest, who do you think it is?”
MJ looked at her oldest brother, “Stephanie. When we asked her about the girls, she said they were nobodies, said she didn’t even know them, but when we asked Annie about them, she told us the girls were loved by everyone.”
“You think that’s enough to go on?” Sam questioned.
“I know strict Catholic school principals and I know creepy priests,” she started, “neither of them are out of the ordinary.”
“Guys,” Sam interrupted them as he turned the volume up on their police radio.
“Another body?” Dean asked.
“Yeah,” Sam quickly stood, grabbing his FBI badge and phone from the table, “I’m gonna go see if I can get to the scene before they move it.”
Dean stood to join him, “you two stay here, we’ll be back.”
Once the boys were gone, MJ turned to Claire, “why would you tell them that?”
“What?”
“That the priest scared me. You know they already think I’m lying about the stuff at the foster home.”
Claire interrupted her, “are you?”
“No!” she insisted, “seriously, you’re just going to freak them out more. There’s nothing wrong with that priest and there’s nothing wrong with me.”
The older hunter sighed, “Mary-”
“No. I’m so friggin’ tired of people looking at me like I’m some kind of damaged goods and like I could fall apart at any moment.”
After a moment of silence, Claire cautiously began, “I spent a fair amount of time bouncing around foster homes and group homes after my mom disappeared. Honestly, I’d be more surprised if you told me all your foster parents were great. Your brothers and Jody, they don’t know what it’s like. They try to understand, but they’ll never really know. I have a feeling Dean reacts the way he does because he thinks it’s his fault that you were there. I don’t think- honestly, I know you’re not fragile or damaged. It takes a lot of strength to survive a life like yours.”
“Whatever, Claire,” MJ stood from the bed and approached the small table, beside which sat the cooler the brothers kept stocked with beer. She pulled two out and popped them open with the ring on her right hand, a trick her brother had taught her, “here.”
“They won’t care?” Claire asked, accepting the drink.
Mary shrugged, “not like we’re going anywhere.”
~~~~~
“Any EMF? Sulfur?” Dean asked when his brother returned to the room where the body was found. Sam shook his head. “So, not a ghost, not a demon, and not the closeted priest.” The man Claire and Mary had seen only a few hours before was sprawled out on the floor in front of them, his brains liquified. They gave one another a look before each taking a side of the room to scan for clues.
“Dude,” Sam groaned, pulling out a hex bag and holding it up for Dean to see.
“Dammit,” Dean cursed, “why’s it always gotta be witches?” he pulled his gun from his waistband and checked the bullets. They weren’t witch killing, but at least they’d slow it down.
“You boys almost done here?” a voice came from the doorway. With the police officer stood the headmistress dressed in a nightgown and robe.
“Mr. Wilson?” the woman recognized Dean from earlier in the day, “you’re FBI?”
His eyes looked her over, “yeah. It’s uh, it’s why I want the girls to go to a nice, safe boarding school.”
“This isn’t typical,” she nervously assured him.
“Did Padre here have any enemies? Anyone that would want to hurt him?”
She shook her head, “no. Everyone loved Fr. Lucas.” Dean gave Sam a look, remembering what the girls had said about the priest, “I assure you, Agent Wilson, your girls will be perfectly safe here.”
“Well, I’d like to take a look around,” he decided, “be absolutely sure.” While Dean proceeded to explore the school, Sam ran to the Impala to retrieve the witch hunting bullets.
Back at the motel, Mary and Claire had each finished several beers and were spread out on one of the beds. They wore bright smiles and giggled as they told stories, or rather as Claire told stories about college and hunting. MJ felt like she had very little to add.
“Come on,” Claire taunted her, “you hunted by yourself for weeks. You’re honestly telling me you didn’t hook up with anyone? You didn’t have any wild nights?”
MJ couldn’t help but roll her eyes, “why does everyone assume I ran off to hunt with some guy?”
“I didn’t say you went to hunt with a guy, I just don’t get how you didn’t take advantage of being out on your own. I mean, if I didn’t have to share a hotel room with Jody I-”
“Claire,” she interrupted her, “Claire, I – I don’t know what to tell you. I’ve never been that interested in anyone. I mean, I’ve never even been on a date, much less-”
“Well, yeah, I haven’t really been on a normal date either but that doesn’t mean I can’t get laid.”
Mary snorted out a laugh, “Again, I lived with a priest and a nun. Why does everyone keep forgetting that? Even if I didn’t, Catholics don’t really give you any leeway on the whole premarital sex leads to burning in hell thing.”
“It’s kind of ironic,” she hiccupped, “that you were raised Catholic and now God is telling you that you’re his vessel. I bet no religion class could’ve prepared you for that one.”
“Oh my god,” Mary shot up from the bed, “I’m such an idiot. I’ve been trying to figure out why in the hell I have ‘powers’ when I haven’t said yes yet.”
“Okay…?”
“When we were at the school there was a bulletin board for each of the seven sacraments. One of them was for Confirmation.”
“And?”
Mary explained her theory while talking at a mile a minute, “Confirmation is when you receive the gifts of the Holy Spirit. You accept the power of the Holy Spirit and fully enter the Church.” Claire still looked confused. “I was Confirmed five years ago, Claire.”
“Meaning you already accepted,” she finally understood. MJ nodded at her friend. “Does that mean it can possess you at any time?”
The Winchester shrugged, “I mean, technically I accepted the gifts of the Holy Spirit, I never said I would let it use me as a vessel. I’m not sure what the rules are on all this, but it explains the speaking in tongues and the fortitude during torture.”
The conversation was interrupted when the older two Winchesters strolled into the motel room. “Congrats, MJ,” Dean said, pulling a $20 bill from his pocket and handing it to his sister, “you were right, it was Stephanie.” The two regularly made small bets during hunts to keep things interesting and though he hated to admit it, Mary usually won. Before he could explain how she had killed the vics, he stopped and saw the empty beer bottles scattering the room. “Dude.”
“Dean,” she started to defend herself before Dean yanked the money back from her as if to say it was payment for drinking his beer. “Yeah, okay, I guess I deserve that.”
“Guys,” Claire tried to interject.
“I thought I told you no drinking,” Dean reprimanded.
MJ cocked her head to the side, “actually, you said no bars.”
“Dean,” Claire tried again more forcefully.
“What?” he finally turned to her.
“She figured it out.”
It was Sam’s turn to join the conversation, “figured what out?”
“How I have powers when I haven’t said yes,” their sister explained, “I received the gifts of the Holy Spirit at Confirmation.”
“Confirmation?”
“Yeah, it’s one of the sacraments. It’s how you become an adult in the Church. I was 13 when I was Confirmed but I guess the gifts are just now fully kicking in.”
Sam shrugged, “or they’re just more noticeable now.”
“So, what, you already consented to being a vessel?” Dean asked, “you were just a kid, isn’t that like statutory possession or something?”
“That’s the thing, I don’t think I consented to being the vessel, I just consented to receiving the Spirit’s gifts. They only kick in when I need them, like when I’m being tortured or a dragon is attacking me-”
“Or when you need to communicate with someone who speaks a different language,” Sam interrupted. “I don’t know why I didn’t think of it before.”
“Probably because you weren’t raised Catholic and your knowledge of the church and its teachings are introductory at best,” MJ said smartly. She was snarky when she drank.
“I’ve literally met God,” Sam defended himself. Mary only shrugged in response as she fell back onto the bed.
“Kid,” Dean looked at the number of bottles strewn about the room, “how much did you drink?” MJ looked at Claire and then at the cooler. Before she could answer him, Dean went to the cooler and found it empty. “Seriously?”
She laughed a little as she looked at Claire, “maybe don’t bench us next time. What were we supposed to do?” The brothers shook their heads at the two teenage girls. Though they knew it was their responsibility to reprimand their behavior, neither could hide their amusement at the situation.
As Sam started to clean the room up, tossing the bottles and cans into the wastebasket while the girls chatted on the bed, Dean’s phone suddenly rang. He looked at the caller I.D. before quickly picking it up.
“Sonny?” he asked into the phone. The last time he’d heard from the man it was because of a vengeful spirit at the boys’ home in New York. It wasn’t like him to call just to catch up. Sam turned to his brother when he heard the name. “Yeah, we can swing by and check it out. We’re just a day or so away… yeah… okay, see you soon.”
When Dean hung up the phone Sam asked his brother, “everything okay?”
“That was Sonny, said he might have a case for us.” Dean turned to where his sister sat with Claire. “They’ve gotta sleep this off before we can do anything, so we can head his way in the morning.” The boys agreed to get a good nights sleep before parting ways with the Novak girl and going to see Sonny.
#supernatural#supernatural fanfiction#Supernatural fanfic#supernatural imagine#spnfanfiction#SPN#spn fanfic#SPNFamily#dean winchester#sam and dean#dean winchester fanfic#dean winchester imagine#Sam Winchester#Sam Winchester Fanfic#mary winchester#marvel fanfiction#Claire novak#imagine#fanfic#fanfiction#sister!winchester
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Hell is in the Ink Machine
Chapter 3 and not close to being done (this story was originally going to be 5 chapters lol)
@a-rae-of-sunshine thank you for all the support you've given to me and for inspiring to create this!
Also I added a few Ocs that I just meant them to be a one time use kind but I might actually expand on them (and make versions of them out of this AU!)
As always TW violence/gore
(PS I live for reblogs and comments and tags and you can just key smash and it will warm my heart. So thanks to all those that have done any of those things or all of them I appreciate it)
Screaming is never a good sign especially in accordance with Henry’s new violent tendencies.
Wally closes his eyes hearing the screech. He’d made it to a vent and was planning on leaving the place through it. Henry made no attempt to join him, just aimlessly walked away, and for once Wally felt he’d be able to escape.
But that scream...it sounds a lot like Miss. Campbell...how could he leave her if she is in trouble? Wally is the only one Henry wouldn’t attack outright he should stay with him to keep him in line.
Though why should he? He’s barely twenty-three and he shouldn’t have to babysit a man who in an instant could kill.
The moral dilemma sits in his mind like a stomach full of food poisoning. Susie is one of the nicest people he knew; the two would gossip, eat, and even go shopping together (Both Shawn and Sammy poked fun at him for it. Wearing clothes he knew he could never afford was always fun to him it felt like an adult game of dress up). When she was new to being a voice actress at the studio Wally would always encourage her. The two even did funny voices together to pass the time on slow days (though Wally half the time only exaggerated his voice). He left Tom and Alison without a second thought and even if neither were hurt he wouldn’t make the same mistake twice. Wally sighs but his mind is already made up.
Sammy’s vision still is sinking in darkness when he manages to crawl to his office. His body yells in protest as he forces himself to his knees scrambling in one of his drawers. He pulls out an extra pair of pants and shirt he saves in case of an ink leak. Instead of a usual new stain of ink on the old clothes splotches of red show on the grey fabric. His fingers tremble as he attempts to tie both articles to his chest.
The loss of blood finally makes a bigger impact as the world wobbles but Sammy tries to counter it with rhythmic breathing and sheer will. Luckily he’s stubborn enough to stay conscious as he scoots his way to the office phone. He dials the police department’s number but nothing-not even dial tone- answers his call. Suddenly he realizes the lines dead and drops the phone emitting a small whimpering noise. Out of all the days-
His half broken thoughts are interrupted by the scream echoing through the studio. The voice seems so familiar but Sammy can’t place it. Not that he needs to he sends silent empathy to whatever poor soul is caught in line with the axe and the man behind it.
He swallows again not knowing what to do. He assumes either everyone in the art department is dead or unaffected; Henry doesn’t seem to have any in betweens. If there is alive people he could do his best to explain but...well the dead have to use Not only that but Sammy isn’t too sure how long he'll last with the pain he’s forced to endure. Stairs seem unpleasant and time consuming at the moment.
Now he can always travel downward but the chance of encountering Henry again was high. Then again it would be a better chance to find alive people then the animation department.
The exit is in the animation department though he could escape, collapse in the road, and someone may be a kind Samaritan to bring him to the hospital. If he leaves though the studio will be,without warning or mercy, in the hands of Henry.
He closes his eyes to better consideration unknowingly he’d fall under the ever present threat of a restless sleep.
Shawn hears the scream as clear as day and as much as he’d love to run to be hero he fears he’s too late. Last he knew Susie was I an unsuspecting storage room with shelves to block the door but based on the scream and a gut feeling Shawn guesses she didn’t stay there long.
He stares at his desk knowing the selfishness of grabbing his stuff in case he needed to leave quickly rather than looking and helping people out beforehand. He reasons with himself that he can’t help anyone if he’s dead as well as reasons that if he has no money he might as well be dead.
A familiar whistle fills his ears as his head pokes up seeing the wandering man in the department. Shawn recognizes him instantly.
Henry; Head to toe he’s covered in dried blood and from lack of apparent wounds Shawn guesses it it’s not his own. He whistles the theme of the cartoon and Shawn remembers he’s the whistler for the theme. That fact does little for him at the moment of the approaching murderer. He quickly shoves himself beneath his desk searching for anything that could be of use to defend himself. All he can find is a sewing needle that he holds like one would hold a pocket knife.
Henry walks slowly and begins to mess with the machines that fill the room. He stuffs then takes out plushies with a mad sort of daze in his eyes. Henry flips switches on and flips them off before turning to the time clock. He repeatedly punches in a time card while muttering phrases under his breath. Although these actions could just seem a little odd Shawn is terrified.
After a few minutes of Henry doing virtually nothing he walks over to Shawn’s desk the Irish man still under. Henry stands staring at Shawn but makes no move toward him. Almost like he can’t see. Shawn breathes out; whatever is in this man’s vision it definitely wasn’t him.
“Don’t even notice me, do ya? You’re in ya own world, ain’t ya? Well at least I’m not there,” Shawn states and Henry tilts his head to the side. “Can ya here me? Do you know where the noise coming fr-“ Shawn feels a pit develop in his stomach as Henry raises his hand. His father always told him not keeping his mouth shut would kill him; Shawn never thought much about the warning.
Henry places a hand on the other’s head and waits. Minutes pass and Shawn feels sweat form on his face. Something more had to happen right? The man is just waiting to kill him? Is he just drawing it out.
Nothing.
Henry leaves; Shawn realizes his opportunity missed but can’t seem to blame himself. There's something otherworldly about the animator. Something that terrifies Shawn even more than anything else.
Screaming and running is a very stereotypical thing for ladies to do but for once Susie decides that it’s not the time to be a groundbreaking women. No, all Susie wants to do is scream and run and cry into Sammy and be held and-
With all her heart she just wants to be saved and out of this hell. Quickly she finds a large room and barricades herself in breathing heavily. The room she noticies has another glass window and it looks about the same as the last one; why is everything down here so confusing?She sinks to the floor holding her legs to her chest and burying her head in her knees.
“Woah, Boris don’t scare me like that,” Wally jumps just hearing the older man’s voice. He manages a smile out of noticing the twisted irony. He would love to know why he’s always referred to as Boris but hey as long as “You found a weapon buddy?” Henry plucks the pipe Wally has out of his hands.
“That- it’s not yours Henry,” but he just swings it around no desire to give the new item up. “Please, you been calling me buddy and everything. I’ll keep it safe for you,” Even with asking nothing happens and Henry ventures on. Not wanting to leave him too his own devices Wally follows along.
Henry feels sick to his stomach as he grips the pipe tighter in his hand. The world around him a blend of cartoons and reality. His mind is muddled with memories but a sinking feeling in his chest told him something is off. Something off with the studio closing down, with him leaving, and the ink machine. He couldn’t get his timeline straight but he presses forward hoping an answer would provide itself at the end of his adventure.
His adventure full of ink and horrors no one should live through. At least Boris has joined him; otherwise it would be a rather lonely road.
“Where are you?” These question drifted to his head a few times previously. He was in the hellish Joey Drew Studio in the toy department.
“What are you doing?” Obviously trying to get out; too bad all the falling just lead to his spiral downward.
“Why are you attacking?” The ink creatures were attacking him! He has to defend himself.
“Why have you let your mind succumb to the Ink Machine?” This thought leaves him in a curious wonder. It’s an odd scary thought but something in him resonates with him...but not for long.
They encountered a room full of dead Borises; how horrific.
Wally is forced to see the horrific beginning of the massacre. As soon as he walks in the room full of people he knows bad things are to come. None of them suspected a thing. Wally tries to shout out, a desperate attempt to give them any warning but it was too late. Henry is already coming toward them so without a word Wally swiftly leaves.
Screaming, crying, begging, chaos that Wally decides he won’t experience experience again. Even if his own mind berates that he’s a coward, at least he’s going to live. A guilty conscious is better than no concious.
Daisy Patch has worked, in the toy department, at Joey Drew Studios for a little over month. It isn’t bad job to say the least nice people, paid enough to provide for herself, and all she has to do is make dolls sometimes even getting the benefit of taking one home when Shawn botches the smiles on them. Her own small smile creeps on her lips thinking of the Irish man. She already knew he wouldn’t be interested in her, well he wasn’t interested in any gal, but a girl could dream. Dream she did and keep all the dolls he gave to her. Daisy always reminded herself that he gave the plushies to everyone, not everyone but anyone who was halfway decent, but the thrill of getting a gift from a crush always gave her the blushes. Or when he greeted her, or when he asked for her to bring some message to another. or when she much delivered his love letters written in Irish to Wally; she read them like they were her own but who wouldn’t?
Speaking of Wally she just saw him dart out of the room when- her eyes widen as she notices the man covered in blood in the doorway. Her coworker,Stephan, stands up about to say something to the man but he strikes him with a pipe. Stephan shouts and the rest of the toymakers begin to panic. Daisy can’t bring herself to leave her seat and watches the mass of bodies run around like chicken with their heads cut off. Blood man is meticulously striking them down with his blunt tool.
Worker after worker falls; he beats them to unconsciousness and hits them a few more times, whether good measure or insanity Daisy isn't sure. Blood fell to the floor and many people along with it.
Stephan, who's closest to her, lays on the floor unmoving. Blood runs down his face and is matted in his blond hair. Daisy scoots from her chair to the floor beside him.
"Stephan?" She gently pulls at her friend's clothes but he doesn't stirr. He won't stir will he?
Daisy stares at the dead man pondering morality and wondering why she hadn't screamed from this morbid sight. Why she fails to cry; instead she sifts her fingers through his hair not noticing that all her other coworkers have fallen. She doesn't even notice the murderer right behind her. Not until with the pipe connects with the back of her head.
#batim#bendy and the ink machine#graphic descriptions of violence#implied character death#tw murder#tw death#henry stein#wally franks#shawn flynn#susie campbell#sammy lawrence#ocs
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